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Saturday, December 31, 2011

of all that it was..

and the year that it was
with more ups than downs
with more of smiles than that of frowns
of tears of joys and the throttles of the laughs
of the many 'goodbyes' and the innumerable 'HIs'
of the few lost and the some founds
of being the devil and acting the clown
and of the best christmas under the mistletoe..
the year that it was
all thoroughly animated
and as it finally rolls over
its the new begining all over again.

stupid!

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isnt it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you built up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...and then your life isnt your own anymore."

The above quote-unquote isnt my own.. and neither it is any result of some of my oft wandering nomadic thoughts and randomness.. but it definitely is something that clearly defines (in clear crisp lines) and accurately pin-points the "stupid" things that i want to tell.. (sic). i happen to pick the above quoted lines from my favourite zeitung (oh gosh! how i missed Deutsch, (sic)) which had further quoted it from "The Sandman" by Neil Gaiman..

and yes, true it is.. when offlate, i have been almost falling-off-the-chair types eager to go out and be with that stupid person, day in and out thinking about that stupid person, never ending conversation with that stupid person.. well yes, it has been pretty much the stupid me lately.. and im not ashamed.. not at all.. and neither am i shying away from all the stupid nothings which i have been keeping busy with that stupid person.. i know that i am not making any (stupid) sense either, but somehow all these stupid somethings are actually looking so like not stupid stuffs..

"Love takes hostages...It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. Its a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

and yesh.. at present, i am loving being stupid. period.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

and she lived a life too many.

she was her her confidant.. she was her only.. sole.
she was his best.. she was his reflection.. she was his only..
she was the "daughter" and she made them proud.

she was the doll.. she was the 'sweet'est..
she was the "love" which lived on..
she was the "roshni" in broad daylight and the darkest night..
she was her Faith's incarnation..
she was the "face" in the family.

she was the "best friend" and the secret confidant..
she was the best buddy and the help-of-all-times..
she was the night-walks companion..
and she was his secret muse.

she was the youngest among all..
she was the noticed one by all..
she was the guitar's love..
she was the beat's delight..
she was the commoner..
yet she was the only one.

she was the companion..
she was the partner..
among the moon gazing and coffee beans..
she was hers-- "clone".

and then she moved on..
in search of her homeland.

she was Bangali, Jill, Shrek, Kiddo and Item..
to name just a few..
and she had Auroo, Psycho and Shweetu to be followed..
Aritree and Ari never to be forgotten
and the latest addition of Baccha.
with Cat and Princess all galore,
she somehow misssed the Angel in the crowd..

and yes. she lived a life too many..

*sigh!

Friday, December 16, 2011

23 is always equal to "23"

they run a commoner's club.. all brutally alike in each and every aspect.. after all they both are the 23 club members.. and cancerians on top of that.. and that results in one hell of a combo.. fosho!
and their's is one real roller coaster ride..

it started on a high..
a real highest high.. kicked off real well.. it had the perfect "cancerian" preferred background.. long distance travel, in the night..everyone around in deep slumber amidst total darkness.. the only sound coming was the rythmic chugging of the train and the only illuminating source was the gleam of the distant light coming in through the window of the train.. and they had the entire night to them.. all by themselves..and they sat through the whole night.. sat close.. never moved.. never changed positions.. never wanted to.. the night gave way to one week of being together.. and yes, they had the whole week's worth nights to themselves.. in their savoured solitude..

and then it started coming down.. and well, it was caught unawares so it had a real bad fall! neither of them spoke upfront.. only communicated in "answering syllables".. and suddenly all the warmth disappeared.. like it was sucked away by some real powerful suction pump at work.. 

and then again as fate would have it.. people around them, (un)knowingly started putting them together.. almost everytime and every occassion.. the conversations increased.. in gradual steps.. the awkwardness still hung about.. but during that time in space, it was just like that train journey moments.. coz, they both knew what the other meant to say.. cancerians.. and clones.. a deadly combination..

and today, after a quarter of a year (yes, it took that long a time), they were (again) set up together.. packed off to a place 30 kms away, for the entire day.. and try however hard as they may, the innate comfort level does mange to seep into and through their (till then) controlled demenour.. and it started with "atheist" and "agnostic".. the fav topic of discussion for both.. and both having the identical views on it.. (obvious (sic)) and frpom then on, there was no turning back.. it was just like the train journey quarter of a year back.. and yes, it had the same cancerian preferred travel set-up.. dark moonless night, and cold chilly winter air, piercing through them as they rode their way back..

yes.. 23 is always equal to "23"!

"meko toh laga tha there's no secret between us"

colombus took the first shot to prove his fellow mates that the world is not flat.. it is a round ball.. indeed.
we have all the scriptures stating that time moves in a circle.. it all comes back in someway or the other.
justin timberlake also realised it and made this statement stay on everyone's lips (and i'd say the best way to make a highly philosophically profound thought acceptable to the masses)--"what goes around comes around".

and it really works.

same time last year,  i was probably bursting away with uncontrolled excitement and enthusiasm for the most coveted countdown.. drove everyone nuts with my counting it down from 336! same time last year, i was also a party to one of the worst ever fights, which almost convinced me of my end to the countdown.. but it survived it all.. and thrilled, was i! (boy, you will never know!) same time last year, not a day went by without "seeing" and "listening".. and thus it came to the picture--"meko toh laga tha there's no secret between us."

same time this year, im still excited for my countdown.. but it suddenly exhibits voids.. my turn to say,
"meko toh laga tha there's no secret between us."

sometime last year, my bestie was upset with me.. same time this year, i am in the perfect place and time to say,"meko toh laga tha there's no secret between us." but then logic and reason take over my thoughts.. and yet, it cant hide the feeling of being decieved..

justin timberlake made it really easy for everyone.. "what goes around comes around".

Thursday, December 15, 2011

..And She was the same She.

She was

careful, yet carefree.. but never ever careless
patient, but never a bore..
coz she was gifted with the treasure of patience
loved staying indoors
calling all her friends at home
tirelessly fiddling with her "ranna-bati" and turning over her numerous books
obedient and loved, she knew she was always safe.

and She is

still somewhat careful.. but at times loves flirting with "careless"..
carefree to being free-spirited..
She loves spreading her wings to reach beyond all boundaries..
dislikes being "defined".. always searching for the freedom of Her words..
enamoured by Her solitariness amidst all the surrounding brouhaha
"home" holds a new meaning to Her--
Her bed of boxes, Her mirror, Her wardrobe, Her walls and Her door, and Her priceless thoughts,
all fully ornate.


and looking back at the remains of the days gone by, She lets loose a "sigh"----
"She was the same She, indeed".



Wednesday, December 7, 2011

cheated!

"ChEaTeD"
it is not always used to define a phenomenon which involves the action acted upon by someone else onto you. it may not even be necessarily the case which defines the vice-versa action.
wierd, you say? not really.. complex?? well, maybe.. its more like you have to be a bit 'khiskhofied' (a term made fav by oft and repeated use by a said-person) to really understand what i mean by it..
and yes, it again goes without saying that 'khiskhofiedness' is a mandatory trait for anyone who posseses even the remotest hint of a wish to understand this post. period.

leaving all aside..
i felt cheated today.. not because someone played games with me.. but because i realised that i was cheating myself.. and i should either terminate it properly or leave it hanging abruptly.. and the worst part is---even at this moment, i cant make up my mind as to what is worse.. 

it was a fling.. or ,maybe even a careless (ad)venture.. never realised how it began.. never realised how it took form.. and never (again) realised how it grew and morphosed into something i will never recognise nor can i even accept without hesitating even for once.. but it existed.. rather, blossomed, even..  but at the end wilted away.. and the worst part, it is still there.. hanging on..

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"bey! vo toh mera birthday hai.."

note:: this was concieved in a journey.. this was a recount of the true events that took place in the real world of conventional humans. and due to certain (dis)illusion, it got "saved" in drafts, rather than being "published" as a post.. well, people were spared for sometime.. but sorry folks.. time to brace up for yet another "roobish" galore.


way past midnight.. begining of september, 2011.. on the way to bbay, in the train.. we were four.. three guys and me.. travelling on tour.. office.. out of the four, it was two down (in their respective wonderlands).. so left with just me and someone who was always giving me the impression of being my alter-ego.. YES! similar in everything.. reactions, thinkings n thoughts, psyche, just to name a few.. and when asked when was my birthday, the answer was met with the response "bey! vo toh mera birthday hai.."

and that sealed th entire night. alter ego, he was meant to be.. and so, the saying--certain things are best left at a distance.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

You always reached out to me and
helped me believe
All those memories we share
I will cherish every one of them
The truth of it is there’s a right way to live
And you showed me
So now you live on in the words of a song
You’re a melody

You stand here with me now

Just when fear blinded me
you taught me to dream
I’ll give you everything I am
and still fall short of
What you’ve done for me
In this life that I live
I hope I can give love unselfishly
I’ve learned the world is bigger than me
You’re my daily dose of reality

You stand here with me now

On and on we sing
On and on we sing this song

‘Cause you stand here with me
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Dreiundzwanzigte Juli, Mumbai.

and yet again, another teary eyed farewell.. this place definitely has stirred up some real wierd stuffs within me.. coz, they have started to flow a bit too freely offlate.. n with the association that runs deep beneath, it gets real hard..even when the physical presence of significance continue to be absent..because its then i realise that sometimes memories and time decide to play a real cruel game with me.. n i just wish---------"oblivi​ate".

Thursday, July 21, 2011

so, is this love?

you come up in every conversation. as subtle hints or brash 'as-a-matter-of-fact' mention.

so, is this love?

your stories play in my mind and your 'lessons' are never lost. your images are conjured in the most significantly unwarned manner.

so, is this love?

there were things i never used to even give a glance at. now my eyes never fail to find specifically those items and even hover around them.

so, is this love?

i may never bother to search you out. but that doesnt stop me either from being happy by seeing you around.

so, is this love?


p.s.: excerpts from an engaging soliloque of a wandering mindsoul.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

pseudo-ism@ your service, ma'am!

well, if its really wrong and unjust to apply the law of "universality" to everyone LITERALLY, then i'm at fault.. n i dont even darn plead guilty!

and if there happens to be one thing which i can never accept, then that would be 'deceit' and 'fake'.. and 'not sticking to what you say' follows as a corollary to it, which also comes in a close second, if i may. and IRRESPECTIVE of the individual happening to be responsible for the afore-mentioned act, my responsive reaction unfortunately happens to be the same. and that is where the law of "universality" comes in. because, its such a sham, that those certain specific individuals say them in such dizzyingly unfortunate manner of uttering, all complete with the puffing of chest and rolling of fist, that their 'actions' fail to live up to that reputation and standard. and B-O-O-M!! it all comes crashing down.

call me crude, cold, rude and what all may, coz i at least LIVE by what i say! and so, i choose my words CAREFULLY. and i give a darn at what people have to think about me.

p.s.: what hurts the most is when the ONE person you grew up loving falls in that above mentioned category.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

the "ending" refuses to end.

she was shaken..stirred..astonished..and scared.. she didnt know how to call this phenomenon which she had just experienced..

she was dreaming.. and for once, it was a beautiful dream, in broad daylight! beautiful, in terms of the events unfolding in the dream and also in terms of the people involved in the dream.. and yes, she might have even smiled in her sleep..

she was spending her last day with them at one of them's place.. it was afternoon.. she, the host (he-1), her closest friend, he-2 and another friend, he-3.. in the begining, it was she, he-1 and he-3.. watching tv.. she was tired, so she was resting her head on his shoulder.. and probably almost would have dozed off..then the bell rings, and he-2 comes in.. she smiled looking at him and he-2 knew he had to take her.. the rest of the afternoon was spent with he-2 cuddling her, and sitting with his arms around her..an occasional secret kiss and all the love he could probably give her in her last moments with him.. she loved him.. and so did he.. her petite frame in his big man hands.. his big strong arms and his gentle yet firm grip.. these were just the trivials.. the best was always wrapped in the most secretive coverings and shared only between the two of them.. and so they sat that way.. he-1 got busy with some hose works and he-3 decided to leave.. she knew she had to go too, and so did he-2..coz, she was leaving the city, but he-2 was leaving more than just the city..she gets up to leave.. he-2 also decides to go with her.. some last few and penultimate moments in exclusivity with her..

she woke up.. happy..feeling a bit wierd that she would dream about he-2, but she almost passed it off as just another dream which she sometimes dreamt involving some people who have made some bit of influence on her..but yet she was not entirely at peace..something about the dream was bothering her..and she didnt know what.. and she looks at her cell n finds a msg waiting for her.. and she knew why she was not at ease about her dream! the msg was from he-2!

so, was she dreaming because he-2 msged? or did her dream induced he-2 to msg her? she didnt know..

and she still thinks about the dream and the msg..and an eeerie feeling makes its way up her spine.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I'm still loving You

he never liked her sad..he never liked her branding herself as bad.."toh sudhar jao", was the maximum that he ever used to tell her, inspite of her repeated provocations..

n she thought, was she really testing him a bit too much? if yes, then what exactly was she really insisting on proving? wasnt his integrity towards her was proven all these times, time and again? his solidarity she never questioned..his diligence, faith, trust, inexplicable belief, fondness, love. and then she found herself at the other end of her questioning.. "why".. n how far would she really go and to what extremes would she test his being with her? at what cost, against her "heartbreak"? when deep within she knew, where her "heart" beats..

and she knew, she could never forgive herself.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

i know i have hurt you, but just that you know, it hurts me most.. because i know u understand, but you still grieve..
i have something which im gonna keep with me forever..a sign of yours.. and it will be always with love..

and it breaks me to see you hurting :'( and i need the strength, so can you please "smile", one last time for my sake?


p.s.: you'll know it.

Friday, July 1, 2011

the picture-(im)perfect

and the end is very near now.. almost at a sniffing distance..

(well, this part of what im gonna write now is more associated with the "ending" of a "life", as in the conventional norms and the meanings of "life".. but nevertheless, the "metaphorical" affinity that i have, im extending it to what i would like to define.. *chuckle!*)

people say, "when you know you are at your final stages of your life, drawing the gasps of the last remaining airs as permitted by your lungs, you tend to see, or, have the flashes of the most beautiful and fond memories of your long/short life's worth. and more often than not, the real major part of those memory flashes belong to those specific individuals (often classified as "living beings") with whom, knowingly or unknowingly or deliberately "classified by yourself n your inner conscience" as unknowingly, you've had the most wonderful and lovely moments of your entire lifetime. and then, it doesnt really matter, how long or short, your association was with that "living being" in question."

this is the most simple of observations. n something that will never run into the danger of being refuted!

so, standing where i am right now, as i can percieve the "end", i have some very clear  images that are forming a beautiful canvas in my mind (or heart?!). beautiful memories, 'love'ly feelings n probably the very bestest of rendezvous. and yes, the major part of the canvas is taken over by one living being, a "homo sapien" to be precise. and surprisingly, the time reference is the least time of associations..

call it a coincidence, the "ending" also coincides with the homo sapien in question here! though, in a different light.. ;)

just like a dying man's last wish, i too have a "wish" (and a hope) that culminates to a picture perfect frame, before me finally felling the curtains and the credits rolling to "THE END"..
the "wish(es)" may not be extravagant, but they definitely are exuberent in emotions n feelings. (well, i'm a girl, at the end of the day! and a 'crab'by one at that too!) so, my perfect scene unfolds thus:

the twilight falling, gradually making its way to the dusk..i can see the last fading rays of the setting sun..almost as if like, it doesnt want to go, but yet it has to..doesnt want to create the impression of a hopefull utopia..(hope, it says, is good.. but it is the best, to only live with the "hope" and never to promote it to higher credits..it is only "hope").. i watch the sun go down, with that warm glow till the end..i sit looking ahead.. i see the silvery waves now.. they want to reach up to me, but i keep that tantalising distance.. cuz, i know, any association might pull me back and make my arrivederci painful..and i dont want it that way.. and so i sit.. under the stars and the queen's necklace.. b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. and with the homo-sapien in question.. next to me..both of ours favourite spot, that..with arms around me and a light shower.. its as perfect as it can get.. moving over from there, as the "dusk" finally turns jet-black, heading for 'intoxication'..and a strange song starts plying in my mind,
"When shadows fall, I pass a small cafe,Where we would dance at night,And I can't help recalling how it Felt to kiss and hold you tight...."
n im reminded of the sweet kiss at midnight---that resembled both the initiation and the termination.. we leave from there, with me standing on the rocks "with arms wide open, under the (moon)light" taking in the last whiff of the place, wishing the memories would also go wihtin me with the air that i breathe in, as my parting shot.. you walk me down to my "home", n i realise that it is my last walk with you.. i dun want to let you go, but i know that i have to.. and i should. we both stand there.. have so many things to say, but unaware of how to do them..n all we end up with is wishing desperately that each of us understands what each wants the other to understand. the last goodbye. and the last kiss.. of love. of austerity. i'll take with me the kiss, n keep it in the "am besten" casket..safe and secure.. hidden from all......

it all seems so perfect.. perfect in the ending itself.. but sometimes, the imperfections are the bestest justifications of all the beautiful 'conspirations'.. and so, i intend to keep it at the imperfectionest best.. coz, that will carry the "hope" of my return for its "perfection".. and "hope" floats, always.

so, it will be sans the twilight, sans the silvery waves, sans the queen's necklace n the light shower, sans the 'intoxication'.. but strangely enough, it WILL be with the homo sapien, with the homo sapien walking me down to my "home".. sometimes, even the imperfectionest ending is most perfectly imperfect. n so maybe, i was supposed to have my last goodbye with the homo sapien.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

"waiting"

"From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, boy,
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feeling's fine.
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string
'Cause I know how to do my thing.
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb,
I wanna know when you're gonna come.

See, I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love,
'Cause summer is here, I'm still waiting there,
Winter is here and I'm still waiting there.

Like I said, it's been three years since I'm knocking on your door
And I still can knock some more.
Ooh boy, ooh boy, is it crazy love ? I wanna know now
For I to knock some more. You see...
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief.
Tears in my eyes burn, tears in my eyes burn
While I'm waiting, while I'm waiting for my turn."

"something always there to remind me"

"I walk along the city streets
You used to walk along with me,
And every step I take reminds me
Of just how we used to be.

When shadows fall, I pass a small cafe
Where we would dance at night
And I can't help recalling how it
Felt to kiss and hold you tight

I was born to love you, and I will never be free
You'll always be a part of me

If you should find you miss the sweet
And tender love we used to share
Just go back to the places where we used to go,
And I'll be there

Oh, how can I forget you,
When there is always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me

I was born to love you, and I will never be free
You'll always be a part of me

'Cause there is always something there to remind me.

Always something there to remind me."

p.s.: and it will always be safe with me.

"when you know"

"When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close
Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

And it's time you come in from the cold.
Haaa...
And you know that you know."

coffee, conversations and..a lot can happen over coffee

and yes.. its again back to the fav setting of all times.. with the most familiar theme and environment surrounding me, i can never ever be a stranger in that place..and with the companion that i was fortunate enough to have, i can never be "sad" for long too.. (love you truck loads!)

n the topic veering around break-ups and patch-ups and then without warning, my mind took flight to the idea of "break-up parties"! and it has the facts as proof too!

#1. that was exactly 2 yrs 9 months and 16 days ago. the time, 0100 hrs.. n my schedule for that day read: a grand lunch with bardidi and pishi, followed by shopping at park street and camac street, followed by super awesome coffee at park street CCD.. coming back home (read: thamma bari) just before dinner tym, and then the celebration with red wine! an unplanned and unintended break-up party! :-P

#2.  exactly 48 hrs back. the first 24 hrs that followeed werent that grand, though the night was cheered up by p.a.. the beginning of the next 24 hrs was absolute harrowing.. but the nyt again was a time for celebration.. coffees and conversations, familiar place and smiling faces.. even though a certain someone was missed in the "journey", but the time spent was nothing short of "celebration"! "coffees and conversations" :) and coming back home to a gala dinner feast. and the trend continues.. an incidental "break-up" party, once again! ;) and well, of course, nyts with p.a, being the integral part! *loves*

and guess, "she" is back in her groove!

p.s. : and "she" loves You! :-D

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

rains and glum

i was sad and glum..
the weather was also in sync..
or so i thought..
it was dark outside too,
with grey clouds on the loom..
covering what it was for a moment,
a glimpse of the sun..
and so as i sat at the window looking out,
i couldnt help but my eyes welled up..
some fights are hard to bear,
even if it is with someone who is not so dear..
and as i find my tears making their way down,
i hear the rains too pounding hard with a crashing sound..
for sometime it seemed as if its crying with me..
telling me "yes, i understand your grief"..
i couldnt help stop my tears,
but then i hear that unmistakable sound of my fear..
a flash of bolt, coupled with a horrifying "crash"..
felt like it will take an eternity to pass..
and then i realise, maybe it doesnt like me sad..
but then, its just one of those days,
when i cant help being sad..
and so as i sit looking out at the rains,
i feel my tears rolling down my face.

Monday, June 27, 2011

"something about the way the hair falls in your face"

"we got the afternoon
you got his room for two
one thing i've left to do
discover me
discovering you

one mile to every inch of
your skin like porcelain
one pair of candy lips
your bubble-gum tongue

coz if you want love
we'll make it
swimming a deep sea
of blankets
take out your big plans
and break 'em
this is bound to be a while

your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder (i'll use my hands)
your body is a wonderland

something about the way the hair falls in your face
i love the shape you take whole crawling towards the pillowcase
you tell me where to go and
i might leave to find it
i'll never let your head hit the bed
without my hand behind it

you want love?
we'll make it
swimming a deep sea of blankets
take out your big plans and break 'em
this is bound to be a while

your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder (i'll use my hands)
your body is a wonderland

damn baby
you frustrate me
i know you're mine,all mine all mine
but you look so good, it hurts sometimes

your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonder (i'll use my hands)
your body is a wonderland
your body is a wonderland"

******************************************************************

she realised the truth in the words of that person who had said once upon a time, that sometimes the songs depict exactly the feelings and the emotions that run within you..

a harmless song, one of her favourites.. she used to sing it in careless whispers.. she loved listening to it and everytime she listened, she couldn't help but sing along with it, with a smile on her face.. it was almost an involuntary reaction.. but for those incidents..after which, everytime she listened to this song, she was always reminded of her times with him.. where each and every lines of the song used to remind her of each and every moment in extreme precision, spent with him.. she couldnt help but think, as if the words were written in accordance with her.. coz, each was symbolic in exact similarity to the incidents in her real life.. n so now, in addition to the careless whispers and the smile, everytime she listened to the song, she pictured them, the way they were.. like what the song says.. coz, everytime she closed her eyes, she found him right there in front of her.. his loving look, his caressing hands..his soft embrace n yet that authourative ownership on her.. the way she felt him on her.. and she took him with her..always..forever.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

for dropping me back home, everytime

and every time i close my eyes, i see you right there.. for all the beautiful moments that you gave me, even the moon felt shy to intrude.. it saddens me to not see you, but it lifts me up everytime whenever i think of you..one of my most beautiful times and significant occasions, i was there with you, and you were there with me..i dunno if it is love, but it is definitely something that puts a smile on my face..every time..always..

will miss being called by the "name" you call me by.. and dunno abt you, but i'll definitely miss you. 

Friday, June 24, 2011

a night to remember

and if you ask me what made it special, there were many things to even rank those among themselves.. but the bestest part will be the (post)birthday kiss..a pricelss moment..which may not ever be repeated.. but for all the times that it lasted, it felt like "love"..

the end-of-the-day call from the dearest one..which was the most eagerly waited upon.. ask me what it feels like? i'd say "blessed in love"..

and the most amazing birthday nights ever.. they made me feel like a princess!

23 on 23! it definitely was special! :)

23 on 23!

and yes, it was special in every way! every possible and every concievable way! :-D
with conversations, talks, calls n meetings.. even after-meetings ♥ that sweet moment..

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

and they sealed their goodbye with a kiss.

the night that was.
of smiles, of laughters,
and of heated discussions..
of sound-blasting music
and mother-sister-zussamen dancing..
of a thousand secrets shared with just a stare in the dark..
of the sweet taste..
of the cherished n precious embrace..
of the cold night air with rains pounding on the window..
of the hushed talks and the narrow bed..
counting down to every sighs n trickling sweat..
where they lay, till it rained..
and sealed their "goodbye" with a kiss.

Friday, June 17, 2011

"absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

she never said much.. yet she was always there.. she rarely voiced out her views and opinions.. yet, she had them in plenty.. she was "reserved", n so were her "thoughts".. yet they were percieved, albeit just in their "presence" n not the "Details".. like a shadowy ghost.. she never said aloud.. n yet she was heard.. her silence "spoke".. everytime..all the time..

........and he told her, that, he'd miss her not talking to him..

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

how comfortable and secure can you be? with yourself? in your skin? with your company? with your "soul(mate)"? with "stranger"? thoughts? belief? feelings? intonnations?
or, how would you really define "comfortable" and "secure"? is it the point in time, when you have all the answers to all the questions plausible in simple layman terms? or when you have the answers that satisfies only you?
or is it when you just realise that there is no pressing need for any answer, what-so-ever..when its the doings, the silent yet omnipresent realisations of the actions..

i dunno what it is.. because i've experienced all the above mentioned situations, in a mutually exclusive manner.. and each time i was with the belief that "well, maybe this is what it is to be comfortable and secure".. but with each passing situations and me experiencing a new one, it makes me ask again and again.. "what really is comfortable and secure"? n then at times i feel----------------->

maybe, just walking with him with his arms around me, is "comfortable and secure".

Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye

Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
 
 


p.s.:: but for you, i probably would have never listened to it in the way you do.. the way your eyes lit up when you told me about this.. the way i can sense your entire self swaying to its resonance.. the way "we" listened to it, together..♥ n the way it assures and reassures me----->"toh zinda ho tum!"

Monday, June 13, 2011

Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!

Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye

Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
p.s.:: but for you, i probably would have never listened to it in the way you do.. the way your eyes lit up.. the way you gave it to me..
the last mumbai rains sure has some very (sur)real and special memories with it.. and maybe it was saving itself for the last "encounter", that only in my last few days of bbay sojourn, am i experiencing bbay, in the entire new form.. a way in which i had only hoped that how nice it would be if i'd been able to live that.. a picture which was only and would always feature in my bbay "dreams".. n now, when i'm living it, it appears to be absolute surreal.. so much so, that im finding it really overwhelming n overpowering a feeling, most of the times..

it seems as if im living it to the extent that all that i'd missed out in the last 2 years, i'm living it all up (and how!) in style since the last 6 weeks! friends (with the "perfect" definition of it), place, fun, smiles, jokes, party, fun-times together n what not! including even the "girl-dates" to the "dates", secrets n confessions, fights n arguments, debates n entertainments, and all so many of them thats its almost impossible to note it all down n explain in words..

i've lived many firsts in my last few days of bbay sojourn..first experience of being friends with a guy who is way elder than me..married, in fact.. "friends" to the extent that we can even indulge in healthy flirting.. knowing people from varied backgrounds..so varied that even inspite of almost everyone being from Maharashtra and speaking Marathi, it gives a complete cosmopolitan feel to the entire group..my first experience of theatre and plays.. my first experience of a "night out" too! my first experience of the other part of bbay..a part, i never knew.. my first tryst with real "rock" n "club".. my first romance with the rains n beer..

and maybe, it'll only be these last 6-odd weeks of my bbay sojourn, that defines me now..im neither afraid, nor proud not even regretful..im happy.. in the truest form imaginable.. happy that im not living with any false pretences..happy for the basic fact that im not required to hide anything from anyone.. happy for the fact that i can be ME.. and happiest for the fact that im existing as ME.

yes! what i missed the most in the place where i was, the last 2 years, i got it all here.. something which was duly overdued. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. and the silver lining to it---> it comes with NO pre-conditions..

P.s. :: and of course, nothing taking away from those sweet-nothings moments, the hi5s, the walking-hand-in-hand, the dropping-me-off-to-home, getting wet in the rains, the "kaltes Bier", the sea splashing, impromptu-plans-with-a-margin-of-5-mins, and the best of all----------> the companionship♥! memories, maybe, are made of these....♥

Saturday, June 11, 2011

what can be better than this?

rains, setting sun, splashing sea, impromptu plan, n beer :)
pizza, pasta n beer. :)
conversation, truth-n-dare n beer. :)
secrets n beer :)

walking hand-in-hand, sitting closely, eyes for each other, n walking with arms around..
i ges, my night's made :)
♥♥
******************************************************************
******************************************************************
 
thinking abt all the beautiful moments lived together in that short evening and her long night.. :) and yes she will admit to this, she loved every bit of it then. n she loved every bit of it even after. the secrets, yes. n the "journey", the "rendezvous" n the many dates, with also the promises of certain "kind".. :)

n she knew, her "missing him" moments are always for keeps. but she didnt know, how far would she be able to go with them..

but till then, she did continue to miss him.. n think about him.. fondly.. going over the sweet memories :)

Monday, June 6, 2011

she missed his presence.. his lingering presence.. even in his omnipresence..something as if he was screaming "who's got my back", and yet she wasnt able to find him..
she missed his sight..
 
and so when he was back, she refused to let go of his sight.. constantly in the sight :) for her.. and for him.. from the moment it started, till the moment it came to an end.

his sound..
 
and she listened without breaking his conversation.. listened intently and intensely.. just listened him talk.. listened to her heart's content to all his sounds.

his sighs..
 
she was pained, but for once, she was reaqdy to take that in her stride.. his sighs were like priceless.

his smiles..

the broad grin and the "happy" smiles were good to see again.. the welcoming smile, the "secret sharing joke" smile, the understanding smile.. his smiles.

his winks..

just that subtle sign, of taking her into confidence..the best part---> she knows.. he knows.

his jibes..
his "pulls".. 

the great battle that never ends.. the ever going teasing and making fun of.. random identity.. but yet discreet.

his talks..
his "brags"..
his ego..

its all collective.. she can never get him have enough of it..

his "falls".. 

and that was all well disguised..this time in the form of "falling necklines" *chuckle*

his laughs..
his jokes..
 
and today she realised how much she missed them.. she could almost see herself begging him for more.. laughing at the stupidest of them too.

his facts..
his arguments.. 
his plain disgusts..
 
they are always for a reason.. valid reasons.. and the outcome--> his disgusts.. outright disgusts. she doesnt want him to be disgusted.. she wants him to smile.

his "tea"..

and it was reduced to "peg" today.. his welcome-back tea ;)

his "songs"..

made the official DJ for the future party... and he promised to deliver..willingly. *yayyie!*

his talks..
his subtle leans..
his quick stares..
his walks..
his waves..
his hi5's..

and all these.. including his waits.. his conversations.. his stories.. his itinaries.. his 'looking out' for her..his walking along with her..the "last" goodbye.. the "reluctant haste goodbye".. the many hi5s.. and the touch and leans..

she missed his PRESENCE.. she missed his EXISTENCE.. she missed his "BEING THERE".. she missed HIM.
 
she was glad to have him back.. and she got her "journey" back. 
why are you so illusive? :(
it wont hurt much to be a bit more explicit..
even if you are a patron of subtlety,
surely it wont hurt much to be more expressive..
so all that i ask for is
you to be a lil more present
with a "ping" or an occassional "ring"
or even the "knock-knock" game..
coz, somewhere not so far away from you
there's a heart that beats and a voice that sings
in the hope that it will ring, one more time that day.

firsts and lasts

and she always made it a point to be the first one.. for him.. for his case.. the first one to tell him.. the first one to wish him.. the first one for him to begin the day and the year with..
she also wanted him to be the first one.. for her.. the first one to begin her day with.. and the last one to end her day with..

and she could never explain the "why".

Thursday, June 2, 2011

she smiled

she felt blessed, far from above.. she felt at peace, even when standing amidst muck and slop! she felt as if she belonged there.. like the perfect time to be at the perfect place.. where everything is in sync and nothing is coarse.. where it all comes together to be that ONE.. and she, standing underneath the pearly drops, and enveloped by the muffled hustles, could feel all that.. serene.. tranquil..

she smiled.


p.s.: and she smiled once again later, when the "budday wish" was postponed till her arrival. :)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

she could never explain the way she felt.. the cruel feeling making its way up from within her. everytime she faced Her, she had that jab of disgust and jealousy.. she detested Her.. for Her gaining proximity to him.. for them talking.. for him calling "Her" and not her.. she tried making her feeling explicit.. but it never cut across the way she wanted it to be.. and the worst part, he will probably never ever be aware of all this.. coz, he was never there, when this all happened..

and yes. she missed him..every passing second..it getting worse..all the more..ever..n ever..

Monday, May 30, 2011

"mei bhi yahaan, har roz har baat me, sunti ho tumko.."

she missed his presence.. his lingering presence.. even in his omnipresence..something as if he was screaming "who's got my back", and yet she wasnt able to find him..
she missed his sight..
his sound..
his sighs..
his smiles..
his winks..
his jibes..
his "pulls".. 
his talks..
his "brags"..
his ego..
his "falls".. 
his laughs..
his jokes..
his facts..
his arguments.. 
his plain disgusts..
his "tea"..
his "songs"..
his talks..
his subtle leans..
his quick stares..
his walks..
his waves..
his hi5's..

she missed his PRESENCE.. she missed his EXISTENCE.. she missed his "BEING THERE".. she missed HIM.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

words.....that'll never see the sun

For all that you know and all that you've seen,
Till to this day, now, and through all those by-gone years,
For all those doubts and their due benefits,
With which you press all your claims to be,
For all those wordly thoughts and wisdom acquired,
That you so rightfully leave for others to desire,
You probably will never know one thing though,
How-so-ever hard you think and frown your brow,
And what i tell you is nothing of a wordly possession,
And it might even be just my fantasy figmentation,
For i still cant ignore its presence,
Even if for you, it might make no sense,
The golden word that it is,
"I'll be missing you" is what my "heart" speaks,
Loud enough for just me to hear,
And so will always, let you be in peace.


p.s.: every moment spent with you, every moment of just being with you, holds special significance..and each and every precious actions-reactions-interactions is in that special place called ..........!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

something else to blame?

i cant explain the way i behave
coz thats something i believe is innate
but a question crops that is difficult to evade
is it really innate or something else to blame?
for every actions has its reactions
all complete with the views, the opinions and all the contradictions
and yet, unpleasant as they may be
its always the contradictions that feed the discussions
often leading up to disagreements
tending towards arguments
and thereby making a heavy weather for the "journey to the end"
coz what follows is sheer confusion
as the initial point of discussion has long been forgotten
and with so much of views and opinions
im never too far from another "discussion"
and it starts all over again
is it really innate or something else to blame?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

lie

Lie n : falsehood, fib, fabrication, made up story, falsity, made-up story, invention, piece of fiction, fiction, falsification, dissimulating, prevarication, departure from the truth.

Lie v : tell a lie, tell an untruth, tell a falsehood, prejure oneself, fib, tell a white lie, fabricate, invent/make up a story, falsify, dissemble, dissimulate, prevaricate, depart form the truth.

lies. not truths. antonyms.

Lying n : untruthfulness, fabrication, fibbing, perjury, white lies, falseness, falsity, dishonesty, mendacity, lack of veracity, deciet, guile, double-dealing.

why do people lie?
when they dont want to tell the truth.
when they dont want someone to know the truth. to know what is true.

Lying adj : untruthful, fabricating, false, dishonest, mendacious, deceitful, double-dealing, two-faced.

people lie. when they are afraid. afraid of the outcomes of telling the truth.
when they are afraid of someone  being judgemental towards themselves. afraid of someone's reactions, which might hold all the potential for being hostile.

but why tell something to a stranger, and then let the stranger find out that it was a lie?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

the end.

yes. this day was destined to come. i ought to have been prepared for it. but i never thought it would be such an abrupt end. a real sudden break to an otherwise smooth flow. a solid constriction, in such a manner that it blocked its flow perpetually.

i dint want it to end like this. i would have definitely expected a more upfront format of it. considering the amount of civilised factors and proportions that constitute its being.

so, i reckon, its best if i take it as the END. maybe, it was supposed to come only this far. maybe, it was for the good. and i hope all the good for **.

lessons in puzzle

"when you are officially seeing someone, and it is serious and more than just 'friends', it is mutually understood and accepted for a fact that you'll not go out on a date with any other guy/girl, other than the one you are in a relation with. and in that case, it can also be put together in a very crude term as 'courtship'. and from then onwards, the levels dun matter."

it makes sense. all definite sense. but i never know, even till this date, about the "status" of it that has been continuing for the past year and a half, that had defied all the set norms. and today, i even wonder, will it even last the one and half year mark? or have i tested it way too far with all the unpleasantness, that now it has finally withered away?
 "serious relationship"--i dunno abt it.. but it was definitely not within the realms of "courtship", of that im pretty much sure.. but this is also true that never once, did the very thought of "going out on a date with someone else" occur to me. and i think i can safely say the same for the person concerned too.. inspite of not being at the same place, we still were with each other..in each others daily lives' mundane activities..never knew of any other way..of living.. coz, that had become a part of life.. a normal and default activity of life.. and for such an abrupt disruption to the "normal" life, well, that sure is bound to generate some unpleasant awkwardness..

but considering that it was neither of what is described and stated above.. just a mere exchange of pleasantries that somehow managed to persist for so long.. that somehow managed to defy all the logic and reasonings.. just plain normal catching up between friends.. so, if that is the case, then it leaves me with the freedon of "dating" or rather going out on coffe dates, lunch, movies or just like that dates with someone else too.. and if that is so, then it turns out that i've actually indulged myself quite a lot on this..

and still considering the alternative opinion to hold true, it then leaves me with full freedom to feel the way that im feeling currently.. the sharp jabs of jealousy, the seeking out of the concerned's activitites, building happy castles and hoping for utter unrealistic things, but yet waiting in anticipation and drooling over the non-existant possibility of "if it happens", and all of a sudde, behaving like an absolute teenager.. going weak in the knees everytime i see the concerned, reaching out to the concerned, almost involuntarily accepting and agreeing to all the arguments in the concerned's favour, the high fives, and the conscious brush against the knees, everytime, and all the time.. yes, its surreal.. but it still is nice in some way or the other..

and the one thing that comes to the fore, screeming for recognition, is one undenied phenomenon::
she is always noticed in a new place, by someone, who is the centre of all others' notifications.

and it holds true. yet again.

Friday, May 20, 2011

how can you?

"how can you still be in touch with him?....NO! you're not supposed to be that way."

"umm.., its possible to stay in touch with your ex, depending upon how you broke up."

two statements. two different persons. answering to the same one person. me. both elder to me, yet both colleagues. both having their drastically different and unique ways in life, yet, both coinciding in this specific aspect. though not 100 percent, but even then, in a silent undertone.

and so i wonder. im i the lucky one? or, im at fault.. failing miserably in something which i diligently preach to others..
considering the second opinion, i have quite a crowd to vote in their affirmatives.. all would be of the opinion that i've failed.. i dun practice what i always swear by, when it comes to saying others.. i'm still at that same place.. maybe even, waiting.. in denial.. in anticipation.. and all of them would then tell me to severe all ties and connections.. a strict ceasefire regarding the "connectivity".. restore "normalcy" in my life, by "eliminating" that aspect.. making it again a pseudo image of what it was previously..
and i dun think i'll like that.. coz the very thought of it it enough to drive shudders down my spine. *whine*

considering the first option, i'm the lucky one.. and it turns out, i only have me to support me in this..

but, i realise that there can be no other..like him, and also like this. for, come whatever may, he still remains my "once upon a time in sometime", where there were no promises made that weren't or couldn't be kept.. where there were no conditions and constraints.. where there were no explations and justifications..where there was just plain sweetness..courtsey..priceless moments..and many other such things, that just cant be defined..
so, i dunno, if its a sacrilege im committing by being in touch with him (ref to the first quote) or it justifies my action (ref to the second quote).. but whatever it may be, i cant change..i dunno, whether its still some sorta anticipation, hope, or even deceit.. i really dont know.. but what i also dont know is any other way of being with him.. i may still not talk everyday with him.. i may still not call him.. but i still cant even imagine my life without him either. even now.. even after three long years..
coz, its him. and he is still the same.. to me.

p.s.: regarding the second quote, on being asked, by yours trully, "are you still in touch?", the answer was "No."

Monday, May 2, 2011

happiness to me is

Happiness to me is:
  • being told, "dekhle movie fatafat, fir sula duga :-D"
  • standing underneath the shower of leaves falling from the trees
  • dancing along in front of nay reflecting surface without any care or concern
  • looking at my light pink bathrobe and finding it spotless after i'd washed it
  • playing with my donkey and cuddling it at my heart's content, with a certain imagination *...........*
  • sitting with my mug full of steaming coffee, at any time of the day
.....and probably a lot many more of the randomest and the most mundane activities.. but then, thats what happiness to me is. :)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Fly Love

Wasn´t really thinking, wasn´t looking, wasn´t searching
For an answer
In the moonlight
When I saw your face

Saw you looking at me, saw you peaking out from under
Moon beams
Through the palm trees
Swaying in the breeze

I know that I´m feeling so much more than ever before
And so I´m giving more to you that I though I could do

Don´t know how it happened, don´t know why, but you don´t
Really need a reason
When the stars shine
Just to fall in love

Made the love each other, made to be together for a life time
In the sunshine
Flying in the sky

I know that I´m feeling so much more than ever before
And so I´m giving more to you that I though I could do

Now I know love is real
So when the sky high, as the angels dry
Letting you and I fly love

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

sweetest.. n foreva! :)

We met in our 10th grade, she was new to the city. New to the country, too. A petite, pretty and fair-skinned girl, introduced to the class as the new student. She made her way to the fourth seat in the corner row.
Two months later, after our summer holiday, we met again in school. She was again at her place, by the corner. And then we were made to sit as per our “heights” by our class teacher. A definite moment of groans, we were all 10th graders, for holy cows sake! But, the class teacher insisted and we rearranged our seating as per her instruction. I was paired with her, and that's how it all started.
“Hi, I'm Hanan.”
“Hi, i’m Aritree.”
First words, followed by a smile. And that's all it took.
Eight years down the line, Hanan and Aritree have given way to “Hans” and “Auroo.” She is someone I can share -- and have shared -- everything with, ranging from “chicken soup,” Harry Potter, and LOTR to gossip, cheesy movies in the theatre, fashion, shopping and talking about guys! Not to mention, birthdays are never comeplete without her!

lunch @yoko's

"fab" pic :)


one of the many random coffee smiles :)


birthday_'09

coffee smiles..once again :)


yesterday there were so many things

yesterday there were so many things
i was never told

now that i'm starting to learn
i feel that i'm growing old.

'coz yesterday's got nothing for me
old pictures that i'll always see


time just fades the pages in my book of memories
prayers in my pocket and no hands in destiny
i'll keep on moving along, with no time to plant my feet.


'coz yesterday's got nothing for me
old pictures that i'll always see



some things could be better
if we'd all just let them be
yesterday's got nothing for me
got nothing for me



yesterday there was so many things i was never shown
suddenly this time i found---
i'm on the streets and i'm all alone

yesterday's got nothing for me
old pictures that i'll always see
i aint got time to reminisce old memories.


yesterday's got nothing for me.

yesterday's got nothing for me..

yesterday's got nothing for me...

yesterday.
yesterday..

Monday, April 18, 2011

6 important lessons of life

Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.


Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!


P.S: I didn't write it. I, for one, myself remain in deep shit for most of the time. Plus, I don't have a life to learn lessons for.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

dee-tee-yo bo-yee-shak!

i dunno any other way of "saying" it.. so there it is people.. thats exactly how i "say" it!
"Dee-tee-YO(!) Bo-Yee-ShaK"
n dun need to really break your head on this.. this aint any riddle of mine either.. it is a very innocently plain (or, really(?)) "nomencalture".. say it aloud, n you will realise what it means.. yeah.. and im sure by now, you might have even guessed it.. so much of a mahaul :-P

either way, what it means is this---> the second day in the month of "Boisak"..the day, as such holds no such significance..oh, hold it, it doesnt hold ANY (and EVEN REMOTEDLY ANY) significance to anybody, bong or otherwise.. even to those who religiously follow this version of the "calender" due to a certain form of aversion towards the gregorian version.. but the fact reamins thus, it DEFINITELY has a certain significance for yours trully! (n hence, this roobish entry)

yes. it was definitely a day to be remembered.cherished.to be wishing for it.always.loved.sighed.
and maybe all those other certain flood-bath of expressions in my mind, which i just cant put down.. it WAS special.and BESTEST.. and i really felt like announcing----> "god damn you, fuckin' sun! even you cant ruin my day with your soaring heat and temperature!" *chuckle!* and while it lasted, i never wanted it to come to any conclusion..(somethings are just not supposed to reach there.. and i seriously advocate that!)

so many memories, and a hell lotta other stuffs seamlessly entwined..and plesantly so to.. and the best part being its "omnipresence" combined with the tender caressings of the same..yes. i may not have any "concrete" remnants (read: material remnants) of the "day" with me.. but i definitely have the greatest company of the promises, mischevious plottings, certain awareness.. n also the excitement (for the very first time in my life of till now) for the d-day!

yes. i may definitely be living my "new-year" phenomenon. and the subsequent belief. and i have, not one, but TWO "new year"'s days to prove it! and it definitely can't get ANY better than this.

*smiles and more smiles*

Friday, April 15, 2011

shubho nabo barsho,1418!

yes.. finally it arrives.. shubho nabo barsho.. :) and i did manage to look up the bong year too! (some bit of snooping hepls, fosho!)
and yes, it also implies that im back at my pseudo-bong elements..excited for the day, only for the fact that i get to wear the notun jama (which happens to be the only exciting part of the day, otherwise marked by the boring drab of exams).
and, surprisingly, it feels good! a seemingly Perfect Day indeed.

it's the perfect day
it's the perfect day
nothing's gonna bring me down
i could stay forever as i am
on this perfect day
nothing's standing in my way
on this perfect day
nothing can go wrong on this perfect day

cheers! :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

known strangers

they were different..different in almost all the tangibles.. at times even probably in some of the intangibles.. they were different in their basic form of existence..they were both in different eras of time of their life.. they were different in probably every other aspect that any outsider looking at them could have ever percieved..
yet, they were similar.. similar in existence.. in the intangibles.. they thought alike.. they felt alike too.. they had the same concerns.. and yes, even the same reasons for scolding-session..
they were both situated miles apart form each other.. yet they were bound by this thread of commonness..they never conspired, but anybody could have been easily fooled into that.. they never shared a smile..never even a same room.. yet they always managed to feature together, woven together by the string of conversations..and yes, in a same room, where it would all transpire at the end.. so different.. so distant.. and yet so close and so concurrent..neither knew of either's immediate existence, but either was aware of each other's pure existence..
He was aware of his friend's mother.
She was aware of her daughter's friend.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

poila-boishakh :)

and the realisation of my correctness in branding myself a pseudo-bong was brought to the fore once again yesterday.and it was done so by a complete stranger in one of the most randomest conversaiton ever.. and i AM proud! so very proud.

so, continuing further on my sojourn of pseudo-bonging, i happen to be living to witness yet another new year... bong new year,actually to be precise.. :-D umm, beg your pardon, coz i dont happen to remember the correct bong year that will be commencing.. in fact my last memory of being updated about the bong year happens to be that of year 1414. :-P *shorrie* n so, where, back home, (ahd) mamma is going all guns out on cleaning drive, i too decided to pitch in with some bit of mine too! responsibility,you see.. not to mention that it was of supreme requisite too! so, i will conveniently pass over that.(ahem!) period.

to be frank, new year doesnt really hold any significance to me, other than the fact that i get to wear notun jama :-D in fact, it is probably the only aspect, which makes me wait for this day, every year! :-D
n so, this time around, i do have my notun jama which will be definitely adorned on that very day! n the flip-side, i have an exam too on that day! so, going by my belief of "you will continue doing the things that you do on the new year's day", looks like, it might turn out to the form that i end up taking exams all throught the year! *damn!!! not good! nicht gut!!!!* anyway, coming back to the prospect of "poila boishakh", (yeah! :-D thats how it is said in bong way) apart from the notun jama part, even i have managed to pitch in with my bit of "cleaning" too.. so, i'm at all evens-stevens, with all the conventionally normal bongs of the world! (*achievement!*)

so, i will be alone this poila-boishakh, but nevertheless, it'll be a new year, all the same! :-D
and ONE particular wish will be awaited.. with bated breath, n crossed fingers..a deep desire and wish, to make it 2/2..

and so be it.. five days for the D-Day! and so, the "cleaning" continues..
:-D

Monday, April 4, 2011

I hate You

"
I hate the way You talk to me
And the way You read my mind
I hate You so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way You are always right
I hate it when You lie
I hate it when You make me laugh
Even worse, when You make me cry
I hate it that You are not around
And the fact that You didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate You
Not even close, not even a little bit
Not even at all.
"

down-n-up the memory lane..

So, I guess it is high time I admit that I have run out of all possibly plausible and enchanting stuffs to write about. And this goes on a long way to explain my abstinence from by two blogs, which were created with loads of love and even inaugurated with a certain degree of enthusiastic passion, which could well have qualified as the epitome of my expressives!
But all said and done, during all this time of my abstinence, I was figuring out the exact reason for the same. Though I’m not cent per cent sure as to pin-point it to be THE reason, but I can safely assume it to be one of the reasons. Definitely.
Of late, I have come across quite some people who have been bestowing praises, almost lavishly, to some extent, on me for the way and the things I write. Or, to be more precise, (as the Thompson-with a ‘p’, as in a ‘popcorn’-would have said) the stuffs that they come across on my blog(s). And so now, time for a moment of truth. Admittedly, this is not the first time that I’ve taken to the pen and paper. My mamma had chanced upon my scribbling as early as when I was a 1st grader. And, to my sheer horror and utter embarrassment, she had managed to ‘rescue’ those pieces of crap from being lost in the oblivion, to eventually tell me about them! Imagine the look of my face then. This interface doesn’t allow me to share facial expressions, or else, you would have been definitely treated to some “treats”! but, as it is clearly evident, even then and those days, kid I may have been, but sense prevailed to keep those stuffs stashed away in some unassuming corner of the drawer—away form any prying eyes. I wanted to keep them safe. “exotic” appealed to me, even then. And that was something I was really inclined upon, and I wanted it to be a part of even my crap pieces.
But that was then. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this started coming to the fore. And eventually was brought to the notice of “people”. So, it was established that I can write decently. Though, even then, I had managed to keep one thing safe from those prying eyes. They still didn’t know, that I maintained a parallel world of my own. Where it was just me, and my thoughts and some random papers! But alas, like Dennis had once (so rightly) proclaimed—“you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can never fool MOM”—this held true even for my case. That one small note, which mamma had chanced upon during one of her cleaning drives, was enough to tell her and let her know of the existence of my parallel world. Though, I must give her all the credits, never did she ever try to catch a glimpse of it. She was always contended with the knowledge that she possessed regarding it.
So, if you ask, what suddenly made all these secretive activities finally coming to the fore? Well, it’s quite simple. A glass will spill the excess water, anyway. It doesn’t really have to have a crack in it. So, that is exactly what happened to me (though, I leave it on your discretion to decide upon the glass, and the water, including the make of the glass, the shape, the colour, and all the rudimentarily important details!). Solitude has a significantly great part to play in this. Because, the first ‘outburst’ happened during my undergrad days in Presidency, away from my “comfort zone” in an alien land. And it was in the form of a verse, on the cover page of a book that was a present to a dear friend, who is one of those people, who can weave magic with words. And, that was it! I implored with him to keep it as a secret. He did. But eventually, I guess, my “roobishes” seemed to have a mind of their own.
Not much of damage was done to the “secret” in the remaining days of mine in Presidency. And by then, I was somewhat confident enough to allow certain peeks into my parallel world. And so, the audience grew in number, though still, highly restrictive in attendance!
I was prodded by couple of “audiences” to go “virtual”. I didn’t. Because, confident I might have been, but the very thought that my “parallel world” would lose its “exotic” appeal was petrifying as even a thought to me! I passed that thought and suggestions. Turned a deaf ear. Always. And I was content! (Don’t really know, still, to this date, whether it had anything to do with happiness.)
And then somehow, just like that, on one fine day, I wake up and decide to make a window to my parallel world. And I know that I was happy. And surprised too, because, what so many people’s persuasion couldn’t do, that one person’s statement did. And so, it flourished. This time, out of its hiding. And yet, as I had always feared, it didn’t lose its “exotic” appeal.
And I’m sure, all this while you are still wondering what happened to the initial point of discussion. Well, coming back to that now. I had a lay-off of some sorts from “writing”. And that was because I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, by all the things which I read, written by certain people. Made me feel insignificant, when I even thought of getting hold of my “pen and paper”. And that was it. And that IS it.
And so, now the obvious question—what made me to get rid of the “insignificance”? Just that warm smile and “love” from my clone. Yes.