silver

there were clouds in the sky.. white against the contrasting blue.. the sky blue perfection.. i felt like im the character in the jack and the bean stalk and im high up in the clouds.. warm cotton fluffs.. reminded me of cotton candy in the fairs of calcutta..

there was wind in the air.. strong gale kind of winds.. on your face.. forceful.. the hair all around your face..

then there was rain.. downpour, drizzle, lazy rains, lovely rains, walk-in-the-rains-holding-hands kind of rain, perfect-beer-weather rain..

the moon.. shining and bright.. silvery.. the moon came out two nights in a row..

and then there was the sea.. making its way among the rocks.. black and shimmery.. glistening in the moon light..

and there was love!


the bestest weekend of my life.. with the loveliest people in my life..
silver moments stays forever..
*love*

s******s

because, you will never know when i tell you that i love you.
because you will never know what it means to me to love you.
because you will never know how it hurts when i can no longer keep it confined in me.
because you will never know how i wish that you know.

fondly....in retrospective

he is responsible for everything.. and he has his share in everything.. and in magnanimous amount..
responsible

he painted my picture of how "he" is supposed to be.. and i believed that "he" is always supposed to be like my "picture".. and all the "he"s are supposed to be like my "picture".. so when, my fellow mates gave me a picture of "him" that was different from mine, i never believed that it could ever be possible! that was my degree of conviction.. and i still have the "picture".. fresh as ever.. painted forever in my mind and soul.. i close my eyes, and i still picture "him" like that.. and that is my earliest and my very first memories of "him"..
and even way back then, that's how i believed, "Dad"s are supposed to be!

i see him in crisp sky blue half sleeved shirt, neatly combed hair, leaning over me to kiss me good-bye, and leaving for office at 0830.. he'll come back home at 2000, and he's supposed to seek me out, the first thing.. i may be under the bed, behind the doors, in the dark store-room, under the table, squished between the tiny gap of the two trunks.. and he always finds me! and then, we'll go together to keep his briefcase, aim his socks and kerchief, all rolled in a ball, to the clothes basket with a kick! and then, we'll both wash our hands with generous amount of soap and dry them off.. then he'll sit for tea, and i'll sit for dinner.. he'll brush my teeth, and then tuck me in, with the parting words,"goodnight.. sweet dreams.. see you!"

that's my perfect "picture".. and it's only now, i realise that he had set a very high standard for himself.. and for all other "Dad"s to match..

the "picture" is still pretty much the same.. except that he has now ditched those sky blue half sleeved shirts, and now dons his favourite checkered blue Arrow.. and sometimes some other colours as well.. he now looks at the 'bright' sides.. he'll still call out his 'good-byes' to the sleepyhead me while leaving for office.. and if i'm not home when he returns, he makes it a point to wait up for me.. the hide-n-seek has traded places with long conversations, saddled with jokes and puns and sarcasm all over.. and the 'goodnights' have undergone a role reversal.. he is the one to crash before me..

but everything else is still the same..

he is still the best man that i'm fortunate enough to cross paths with..

he may not be the 'world's' best dad.. but he is the Best for me.. and he is the World for me..!

sweet treat fix

Chocolate Cake with Raspberries

Ingredients:

• 250 gms raspberries fresh (i suppose, even canned or frozen should work)
• 1 egg
• 100 ml coffee expresso (you can help yourself to a few extra mls on the sides as well, as my coffee addict partner does  unabashedly)
• 120 gms chocolate chopped into small pieces (need i say anything on this?)
• 120 gms butter
• 90 gms sugar\
• 2 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 100 gms flour

Instructions:

• pour the coffee in a pot and add the sugar and butter..
• remove from the heat when melts and add the grated chocolate..
• sift the flour with the baking powder and cocoa powder and mix them with the chocolate mixture until smooth..
• add the egg and mix again..
• the baking tray should be around 18 cm in diameter.. grease it with oil and place baking paper on top.. pour half of the mixture on the tray..
• spread the raspberries and pour the other half of the mixture..
• bake in pre-heated oven 180-190 C for approximately 50 mins..
• the ready cake can be decorated by more raspberries or chocolate topping, made by melting 100 gms of milk chocolate..

easy non-fussy and sinfully delightful chocolate cake!

fiddling fingers when it rains

idle mind, lazy afternoon, fiddling fingers, intriguing phone, inquisitive nature and an 8 MP camera..

and an added bonus, when it pours..
starting off with overcast skies, followed by a light drizzle giving way to big drops rain.. and of course, a splattered window pane..

and a window overlooking one of the most amazing views..

when i see green..through the rain sprayed window pane..

beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. and at times through the picturesque window of my room  and of course, a camera at the disposal always helps  

blue stands out.. 

happiness when it rains..
:)

desolate land rains

and then of course, there are times, when this shithole of a place manages to tug at the strings of my heart and soul..
some soulful moments stolen from the otherwise crazy hectic itinerary..

colossal mass of grey fluff  

the lone Doordarshan tower stands out

clear demarcation.. not very often..rarity..

panoramic view from the balcony..

and times like this, the flat in the top floor seems to be the best place to be.. the balcony, the window-ledge (just wide enough to fit only your posterior, so that no one else can claim the spot), the big-broad yellow mug--that says "my coffee strongest"--brimming with the warm comforts of the black coffee with its intoxicating aroma wafting its way through the room and around..

joie de vivre at barir chhaad    

bliss..

uncomplicated..

An Ode to June!

June..
it has always felt like home..
felt like i belong here..
like, of the 12 pages in the calender, the photo of June always seemed to be the most appealing.. and mind you, they were all random calenders.. ranging from the ONGC's safety calender with funny illustrations (akin to those of Mario Miranda's) to the awesome photography ones from Punj Lloyd (places, people, portraits, wildlife) to even the miniature ones from Hyundai..
June was always able to capture my attention..
in fact, as far as i remember, continuing even to this day, the first thing i do to a new calender is to flip over the pages to June.. :)
so, June is special..

also, has the longest day of sunlight..
its the midway of the usually long year.. so, after June, everything assumes a mach speed and just whizzes past..

the places i have lived in and the place where my soul lives, always gets the first rain in June..

it has my BFF's birthday.. :) and just a few days apart..
it gave me my first reason of joy in an alien land 6 years back..
it gave me my summer-fling! ;)
it gave me my most special birthday with the most special person..
it gave me my best birthday too..
i turned 23 on 23 in June..

June is always special..
like, the special place in time, you always want to go?
yes..
that's June for me..

and so it is--
"An Ode to June"

the orthodox paradox

"pen friend"
well, the time that i am from--and mind you, im not in my forties, reminiscing about the bygone would-have-beens--pen-friend was a part of a fantasy.. it was weaved as a character from a land where everything else is super awesome functionality efficient.. where all you need is a post box number.. and that's all that is necessary for two people to weave in the most beautiful world of theirs.. away from all prying eyes.. where no names were involved.. but a separate and special identities were carved.. where each poured out their hearts in that limited square white paper.. no postman jhol and lafdas.. no mail mess ups.. everything was a clockwork..

i was introduced to 'pen-friend' via my world of books.. enid blyton, probably.. dun remember exactly now.. and i fantasized.. i'm talking about the time, when i was barely four feet high.. still wearing pinafores and black buckled shoes to school.. still having pops to lug around my backpack.. that was me then.. and i wished.. wouldnt it so grand if i also had one of those? to whom i can write and who can write me back.. well, i had no dearth of people to write to, and who would have written back and vice-versa.. but a 'pen friend' was what i wished for.. and since, there was no way i could have got one, i created an imaginary one.. and i wrote.. two ways.. wrote my letters.. and wrote the pen-friend's replies to me.. and boy, it was so much fun.. it was my little secret.. stacks of paper, stashed away in the corner of the book shelf.. i even used those glitter pens to spruce things up, occasionally.. and it was so much fun..

watching 'pen-friends' for 'real' in the movies, made me yearn for that in my life all the more.. but by then, i was a foot or so taller and 'grown-up'.. and i realised that it wont happen.. and i accepted that.. though by then, reading those "letter exchanges" would always have me in splits.. yes, they were hilarious..

then comes the advent of "chat" in my life.. a big scary place where you meet and talk to even strangers.. but that somehow never made me comfortable.. and i never did that.. so, the idea of 'pen-friend', always remained at that.. an idea.. a wish.. a fantasy..

but until now..
true.. this doesn't fit into the classical definition of a pen friend.. because, we both ain't really "strangers" or "unknown" to each other.. we have a "common" person.. we don't really write "to" each other.. and yes, all our exchanges are over the white screen of the laptop..
but we still are strangers for each other..we know our names.. we know where we live.. to a certain extent, we know what we do.. and we know how we look.. and that's it.. rest everything we don't know.. i don't know.. and somehow that never bothered.. for some reason, we can start and continue a random conversation over a mundane topic.. and if you closely look into the heart of the matter, that's what pen friends do.. they just share stuffs.. they have written conversations.. they both have a common platform of thoughts..

and i have known--trust me--not everyone possess the skill for conversation.. its an art.. and somehow, this one satisfies.. its good to carry on with the flow of conversation with this one.. this one knows how to say it and when to say it.. this one doesn't substitute "than" in place of "then" and then argue that its the same.. this one knows to dot the i's and strike the t's.. this one is not a pain to the ears and a sacrilege to the eyes.. this one reminds me of my fantasy of a pen friend..

and to a certain extent, this one, is, my pen-friend..
all we exchange is always in writing.. we are officially strangers (still).. and we dot the i's and strike the t's, over our common platform..