n as i sit alone, i cant help but go back a hrs in time..reflecting back to those moments n pondering over the same.. n i realise that you happen to be the only other person, i my life till now, with whom i had a total n completely insanely random convo, with the most idiotic phrases of songs.. :D
loves
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
i may have it all, n i may even have you all
n yet i feel, i have none-
neither all of it, nor even a part;
of you ,or the stuffs galore..
but im surrounded with everything, with splendour aplomb,
n yet nothing.., with bare spaces waiting to be filled..
but my eyes are filled
to the brim n more
than even what they can hold..
-A
30.9.10.
n yet i feel, i have none-
neither all of it, nor even a part;
of you ,or the stuffs galore..
but im surrounded with everything, with splendour aplomb,
n yet nothing.., with bare spaces waiting to be filled..
but my eyes are filled
to the brim n more
than even what they can hold..
-A
30.9.10.
You may say that I'm not Right
but, I'm not Wrong-
I just don't Feel.
You may say that I dont Feel
but its not that-
I just dont Share.
You may say that I dont Share
but I still deny
You may say that You dont See
and then I Say-
"maybe, You're not the Right,
and so You dont Feel, that I Share,
and so.. You dont See."
-A
26.9.10.
but, I'm not Wrong-
I just don't Feel.
You may say that I dont Feel
but its not that-
I just dont Share.
You may say that I dont Share
but I still deny
You may say that You dont See
and then I Say-
"maybe, You're not the Right,
and so You dont Feel, that I Share,
and so.. You dont See."
-A
26.9.10.
you are my theme for a dream, yes you are, a rare and lovely theme
the dreams i dream day and night that your arms are holding me so tight..
everytime i kiss you, music fills with starlight
everytime i touch you, each and everytime, a chime rings out, "i love you" :)
so, angel please say that you love me too
and make my dreams come true :))
♥
the dreams i dream day and night that your arms are holding me so tight..
everytime i kiss you, music fills with starlight
everytime i touch you, each and everytime, a chime rings out, "i love you" :)
so, angel please say that you love me too
and make my dreams come true :))
♥
6.9.10
at times you do end up wondering what really is "bad".. or to say, what can really be the factors to determine the status of being "bad" to anything in particular.. and to say, we take pride in branding ouselves as "Rational" beings coz we proudly associate ourselves to the race of that one particular fellow who happened to come up with the most simplistic mind-boggling theory of "relativity"!
so, coming back to my original point of discussion, the question still remains, how do we really know what to brand as "bad"?? or, in other words, when there is the case of the "lesser good", how do we justify our contradictions?
and now, since im unable to put the correct tag on, i do need all you guys help in this:
breaking up may be bad.. but a break-up without really "breaking up"(in the conventional sense that wud generally preceed the real "breaking up" process), how bad is that?
but the best part in this whole thing, my identity of being the "villain" is reaffirmed. once more. yet again. period.
so, coming back to my original point of discussion, the question still remains, how do we really know what to brand as "bad"?? or, in other words, when there is the case of the "lesser good", how do we justify our contradictions?
and now, since im unable to put the correct tag on, i do need all you guys help in this:
breaking up may be bad.. but a break-up without really "breaking up"(in the conventional sense that wud generally preceed the real "breaking up" process), how bad is that?
but the best part in this whole thing, my identity of being the "villain" is reaffirmed. once more. yet again. period.
Clear black sky, occasional light breeze..starless
And white clouds scattered like cotton shreds over black chart-paper
Empty streets, crimson yellow
With them neon lights glowing in full brilliance
Void of any rustling of dead leaves and barking dogs too
A lonesome night.. and a silent night
Stirred at times, by the occasional ‘call’ of a crow-chick
Which is invariably returned by the assuring ‘caw’ of its mother..
I see a tree, right up front
Standing tall and quite forlorn
Staring back at me, with those eyes I can never see
A steady gaze, unfluttered
I guess, trying to make its way through my thoughts,
That is horribly cluttered
Clobbering for some mind space, eh?
But there, I see you
Poised gracefully austere
With pure elegance and an infectious aura..
And as I sit here staring at you,
Staring back as hardly as I can
Putting up a brave face to defy all odds
That’ll inevitably point to my already sparkling eyes- unmistakably moist!
And as the night wears on,
I realized that I can no longer hold on
To those tears that slowly start to well up
In my eyes, that suddenly appear to be so small..
And so as I finally close my eyes
I feel ’em tears running down in file
And I open my eyes, to be greeted by the same soft silent gentle breeze,
The same forlorn tree, swaying gaily to the breeze
Like, nodding in assent or of appreciation of the deed..
And I see a jet-plane, flying overhead
Making its way through the sparsely hung
White cotton-like clouds,
With its floodlit neon lights gleaming ahead,
Like screaming it aloud-“yeah baby! That’s the way!”
-
A.
15.8.10.
And white clouds scattered like cotton shreds over black chart-paper
Empty streets, crimson yellow
With them neon lights glowing in full brilliance
Void of any rustling of dead leaves and barking dogs too
A lonesome night.. and a silent night
Stirred at times, by the occasional ‘call’ of a crow-chick
Which is invariably returned by the assuring ‘caw’ of its mother..
I see a tree, right up front
Standing tall and quite forlorn
Staring back at me, with those eyes I can never see
A steady gaze, unfluttered
I guess, trying to make its way through my thoughts,
That is horribly cluttered
Clobbering for some mind space, eh?
But there, I see you
Poised gracefully austere
With pure elegance and an infectious aura..
And as I sit here staring at you,
Staring back as hardly as I can
Putting up a brave face to defy all odds
That’ll inevitably point to my already sparkling eyes- unmistakably moist!
And as the night wears on,
I realized that I can no longer hold on
To those tears that slowly start to well up
In my eyes, that suddenly appear to be so small..
And so as I finally close my eyes
I feel ’em tears running down in file
And I open my eyes, to be greeted by the same soft silent gentle breeze,
The same forlorn tree, swaying gaily to the breeze
Like, nodding in assent or of appreciation of the deed..
And I see a jet-plane, flying overhead
Making its way through the sparsely hung
White cotton-like clouds,
With its floodlit neon lights gleaming ahead,
Like screaming it aloud-“yeah baby! That’s the way!”
-
A.
15.8.10.
But I'm so used to hear him say "Good night" ev'ry day.
I'm very grateful he's a man And so easy to forget;
Rather like a habit One can always break-
And yet, I've grown accustomed to the trace Of something in the air.
23.6.10; 2307 hrs
felt as if i were standing in the middle of a vast plane..under the stars..held and owned..in assurance..in security..
Dunno wat to choose…. The loneliness of waiting for you..or the reassurance of your inevitable returns..
I'm very grateful he's a man And so easy to forget;
Rather like a habit One can always break-
And yet, I've grown accustomed to the trace Of something in the air.
23.6.10; 2307 hrs
felt as if i were standing in the middle of a vast plane..under the stars..held and owned..in assurance..in security..
Dunno wat to choose…. The loneliness of waiting for you..or the reassurance of your inevitable returns..
17.6.10
something outta my memories...n something that is a reality.. <3 qoute-unqoute <3
""
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You're in my heart now
Said, "woman, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience"
Said, "sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience..."
Mm, yeah
I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider
Said, "woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience"
Said, "sugar, take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes
To make it, We won't fake it,
I'll never break it
'cause I can't take it
...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah"
""
<3
""
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You're in my heart now
Said, "woman, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience"
Said, "sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience..."
Mm, yeah
I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider
Said, "woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience"
Said, "sugar, take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes
To make it, We won't fake it,
I'll never break it
'cause I can't take it
...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah"
""
<3
@chuhiya
oh, how i wish, for you to be here; i'd sit by you n hold you tight;
tell you all of those lonesome dark nights; co'z i know that you'd understand....
but im glad that you're not here; coz you'd have found me crying like never before..and not a pretty sight that, i assure..
but wat to do, dear, coz i still miss you..
loves n kisses >:-*<
oh, how i wish, for you to be here; i'd sit by you n hold you tight;
tell you all of those lonesome dark nights; co'z i know that you'd understand....
but im glad that you're not here; coz you'd have found me crying like never before..and not a pretty sight that, i assure..
but wat to do, dear, coz i still miss you..
loves n kisses >:-*<
nothing in the world, it seems
shatters like a broken dream
it is the ache behind the mean
of shadows silent and unseen
and in this fortress dream of sorrow
exist no dawn and no tomorrow
just hours that cut you as they pass
like little shards of broken glass
and yet another and another
sometimes the night is meant to suffer
but look up now and see how far
they light your way like little stars
oh, if i had a star to shine
for every broken dream of mine
the whole night sky would turn to day
and all my troubles melt away.
-A.
3.5.10.
shatters like a broken dream
it is the ache behind the mean
of shadows silent and unseen
and in this fortress dream of sorrow
exist no dawn and no tomorrow
just hours that cut you as they pass
like little shards of broken glass
and yet another and another
sometimes the night is meant to suffer
but look up now and see how far
they light your way like little stars
oh, if i had a star to shine
for every broken dream of mine
the whole night sky would turn to day
and all my troubles melt away.
-A.
3.5.10.
a lot like love, but none like one
and its not fair for me, to keep asking for favours
from you all time along.
there's a part that wants me to move on,
and yet, i cant ignore the presence of it,
which is holding me back.
fairy tales aren't meant for mortals-and so the name.
and so-fairy tales dun always have a happy ending,
something, for which i dun need a telling twice.
but it still knocks me off everytime.
reasons elude me most of the time,
and yet that doesnt stop me from running after them.
and one thing that i've learnt from all this
and yet i continuously refuse to learn--
somethings are just not meant to be
however hard YOU mean them to be.
and the toughest journey ever made is always going back.
'coz, no matter, how-so-ever famiiar the route may be
the steps are always the most difficult and heavy.
and certain "wait" should never be waited upon
for the very "WAIT" to be over!
and i dunno wat it all means..'coz, i never looked back to see wat it really is.
-A
29.4.10
and its not fair for me, to keep asking for favours
from you all time along.
there's a part that wants me to move on,
and yet, i cant ignore the presence of it,
which is holding me back.
fairy tales aren't meant for mortals-and so the name.
and so-fairy tales dun always have a happy ending,
something, for which i dun need a telling twice.
but it still knocks me off everytime.
reasons elude me most of the time,
and yet that doesnt stop me from running after them.
and one thing that i've learnt from all this
and yet i continuously refuse to learn--
somethings are just not meant to be
however hard YOU mean them to be.
and the toughest journey ever made is always going back.
'coz, no matter, how-so-ever famiiar the route may be
the steps are always the most difficult and heavy.
and certain "wait" should never be waited upon
for the very "WAIT" to be over!
and i dunno wat it all means..'coz, i never looked back to see wat it really is.
-A
29.4.10
fav list :)
loves..... :)))
- 32 mins on std n just 20 bucks!! :D
- p.a's irritation n annoyance wen p.a's is interrupted during narration :P
- DC winning! ;)
- random plans :))
- freaky similarities.. even concerning 'identities' now.. (ref: bandar) :P :D
- ITEM. (mvah)
reality check.
the moth and the flame..the flame incites the moth..the moth is lured to it..everytime..overwhelmed by its presence..but then, the reality gets back to it..its a moth against the flame..and the moth burns to ashes, in that very same flame..
you were nobody to me..not even a face..not even a name..just one of those zillion other entities having their esteemed existence in this world..yet there was this cosmic conspiracy that made you change your status for me..you became a name..and then you took a face..i wanted it to stop at that..the name n the face..but, i dun call it the 'cosmic conspiracy' just like that..n, it dint stop at just the name n the face..n the biggest shift in the process, you gave me a name..a face..an identity..i fought..i resisted..but ultimately, was overwhelmed..n for sometime, i liked the feeling of being overwhelmed..and everytime it happened..and of all the effects that it had, it had one bad effect.. it made me defy "reality"..i started defying the practicality..and so, one day, the 'reality' had its shot at me..
period
the moth and the flame..the flame incites the moth..the moth is lured to it..everytime..overwhelmed by its presence..but then, the reality gets back to it..its a moth against the flame..and the moth burns to ashes, in that very same flame..
you were nobody to me..not even a face..not even a name..just one of those zillion other entities having their esteemed existence in this world..yet there was this cosmic conspiracy that made you change your status for me..you became a name..and then you took a face..i wanted it to stop at that..the name n the face..but, i dun call it the 'cosmic conspiracy' just like that..n, it dint stop at just the name n the face..n the biggest shift in the process, you gave me a name..a face..an identity..i fought..i resisted..but ultimately, was overwhelmed..n for sometime, i liked the feeling of being overwhelmed..and everytime it happened..and of all the effects that it had, it had one bad effect.. it made me defy "reality"..i started defying the practicality..and so, one day, the 'reality' had its shot at me..
period
19.4.10
today, apart from the trecharous and taxing dose of IFM, i learnt some other 'intersting' stuffs too:
1.there finally exists a thing which is different between me n p.a.(you know wat now :P)!!!
4. "i adore you.." *blush!!!
1.there finally exists a thing which is different between me n p.a.(you know wat now :P)!!!
*n im absolutely elated!!! :D:D:D:D:D coz isme, you cant be the copy cat!!!!
2. i "manipulate" your mind easily.. (if you'd please care to explain! O_o)
3. im a "bachi, chutki si" wen i talk, but "conveniently" bada, "agar baato ko samjo toh"...(?)
but mera pyara sa p.a., if "baat" is the common factor here,then, how can i be the "chutki si bachi" n "bada" at the same time,huh??? samjhaiyo, please..... :))
and this is the icing! 4. "i adore you.." *blush!!!
2.4.10.
this is insane..yes..and to start something with "these" three "coveted" words, well, enough proof of insanity..and i say this is insane, not only due to my choice of the afore mentioned (supposedly "coveted") words,but also due to the surrounding "Circumstances" (if, and as, i'd like to put it)..and to say,all this, sitting upright, without any trace of being tired (inspite of going n probably gone bonkers over some stupid ratios for 36 hrs straight) at 4 in the morning..well,still doubtful regarding the choice of "coveted" words? i hope not.
to many, this may sound idiotic..some may brand me as stuipd..and some, (well, they already have) "kiddish"..but, this is ME..and i realised, there's no other way, how this can be possible..
there are questions..many..probably even loads of them..at times, all playing cut-the-chase..and thats precisely when it all starts..and sometimes, it just remains as---well, just "questions"..simply....and thats precisely the point where i realise, that it has to be like that..like "questions"..
i never realised before..but strangely though, i had a wierd downing of "understanding"..something like, the smooth cascade of martini over pom'granate seeds..
how would it be,if there are no updates? if the status (there) reads:"void"? would you like it?
and i'd the answer..i knew it..even wen the answer was not supposed to be mine..you call it strange? but, "strangely" though, somehow, i dont..
she says"A close friend has what you need - you just have to ask.''..and im scared..scared not about the identity of the "close friend", but of my need..
i feel,(sometimes, mostly, and well, even almost all the time) randomness is the flvour of the day..and the day lasts every"day"..something (or maybe everything) like red-n-black---"convers(ation)e"---pommegranate seeds (again red)---paper streamers---rugs---ipod---foam---tissues---brouhaha + cacophony = melody(?)----bare foot (or maybe even, "feet"!?).......and wat not? sometimes even a journey..
its all intertwined..i never realise its significance..most of the time..it appears "messy" to me..but, again........i know......
to many, this may sound idiotic..some may brand me as stuipd..and some, (well, they already have) "kiddish"..but, this is ME..and i realised, there's no other way, how this can be possible..
there are questions..many..probably even loads of them..at times, all playing cut-the-chase..and thats precisely when it all starts..and sometimes, it just remains as---well, just "questions"..simply....and thats precisely the point where i realise, that it has to be like that..like "questions"..
i never realised before..but strangely though, i had a wierd downing of "understanding"..something like, the smooth cascade of martini over pom'granate seeds..
how would it be,if there are no updates? if the status (there) reads:"void"? would you like it?
and i'd the answer..i knew it..even wen the answer was not supposed to be mine..you call it strange? but, "strangely" though, somehow, i dont..
she says"A close friend has what you need - you just have to ask.''..and im scared..scared not about the identity of the "close friend", but of my need..
i feel,(sometimes, mostly, and well, even almost all the time) randomness is the flvour of the day..and the day lasts every"day"..something (or maybe everything) like red-n-black---"convers(ation)e"---pommegranate seeds (again red)---paper streamers---rugs---ipod---foam---tissues---brouhaha + cacophony = melody(?)----bare foot (or maybe even, "feet"!?).......and wat not? sometimes even a journey..
its all intertwined..i never realise its significance..most of the time..it appears "messy" to me..but, again........i know......
ahem!!!! (*cough cough*) loads of constrictions,btw,so gotta clear my throat! *wink
k then...simply put,.....cant put it down!awefully sorry! the other way then.....
aptly put "PARTNERS IN CRIME",in its every "holy" essence.caring,loving,irritating,fun,and even protective....possibly everything rolled in one.and sometimes even "friends"!!!the ideal company of mine for movies,chats, useless and equally baseless talks,bitching,"gaali" dictionary(lol),the most horrible pjs ever,the by-default audience for all my experimental songs,my boring gossips,shopping, cc,and of course,the ever omnipresent--COFFEE!and the mad mad laughs,way into the night.(even shared the tears at times).surprised me the most wen she stood my ground.had some of the best times wid her.
and on a personal note---really miss the fundoo "us-times"! those were the best!! undoubtedly!! love u loads......mvah!
k then...simply put,.....cant put it down!awefully sorry! the other way then.....
aptly put "PARTNERS IN CRIME",in its every "holy" essence.caring,loving,irritating,fun,and even protective....possibly everything rolled in one.and sometimes even "friends"!!!the ideal company of mine for movies,chats, useless and equally baseless talks,bitching,"gaali" dictionary(lol),the most horrible pjs ever,the by-default audience for all my experimental songs,my boring gossips,shopping, cc,and of course,the ever omnipresent--COFFEE!and the mad mad laughs,way into the night.(even shared the tears at times).surprised me the most wen she stood my ground.had some of the best times wid her.
and on a personal note---really miss the fundoo "us-times"! those were the best!! undoubtedly!! love u loads......mvah!
today (or rather tonight) it went a lil further..
so, lemme track down the entire journey.. :)) we first started as normal mortals.. so as to speak.. but that was short lived, as nomenclature took over within the first few exchange.. :P and they were the results or rather the conclusions of the above exchange.. ;) and thus, formeth a team - of alsi n its pseudo version :D awesome combo, that too!!!! :D it stuck to that.. for a long tym.. and so, i thot that it might as well be for keeps..and not that i was complaining..na na.. not even a teeny-weeny lil bit! :)
but then, change is the norm of living..so, even this had to witness a certain change in itself.. and this time it went on to a certain "item" :P not much of a scope for complaining, i'd say.. the other end was a bit muddled coz the pseudo version was not working well with the new one..so, lo and behold! modification was the new rule of the day :D and so, the new team was formed, of the earlier constituents, albeit in a different mode--item and the p.a. :)))
and now, its stil at that..the base is strong..with the p.a. assuming various forms, as and when needed.. it was a "bakra", the first time, which was enjoyed (self proclamation!) and the latest being the "kutta" :D:P and again self proclamatory....
but again i'll say, "im not complaining..not at all..not even a teeny-weeny lil bit!" :)
changes..alterations.. and all these getin all the more hilarious with every passing "modifying change":P a "DIETICIAN"???? i ask you? ;) and the answer i get--"yup". period. and, well with the latter going thru so much of "changes" per se, its unfair that the former experiences none..so, the former too gets a new prefix--"sweet".. :))
p.s. : the prefix still continues.. :) but the suffix, has undergone a change,of late.. :))
plus, the "latter" also went thru further transformations, which were, as usual, all self-proclamatory :P
but the bottom line: neither one is actually complaining!! :D and each one, is kinda "loving" it.. [n yeah, it includes me too :)) mvah! :-*]
so, lemme track down the entire journey.. :)) we first started as normal mortals.. so as to speak.. but that was short lived, as nomenclature took over within the first few exchange.. :P and they were the results or rather the conclusions of the above exchange.. ;) and thus, formeth a team - of alsi n its pseudo version :D awesome combo, that too!!!! :D it stuck to that.. for a long tym.. and so, i thot that it might as well be for keeps..and not that i was complaining..na na.. not even a teeny-weeny lil bit! :)
but then, change is the norm of living..so, even this had to witness a certain change in itself.. and this time it went on to a certain "item" :P not much of a scope for complaining, i'd say.. the other end was a bit muddled coz the pseudo version was not working well with the new one..so, lo and behold! modification was the new rule of the day :D and so, the new team was formed, of the earlier constituents, albeit in a different mode--item and the p.a. :)))
and now, its stil at that..the base is strong..with the p.a. assuming various forms, as and when needed.. it was a "bakra", the first time, which was enjoyed (self proclamation!) and the latest being the "kutta" :D:P and again self proclamatory....
but again i'll say, "im not complaining..not at all..not even a teeny-weeny lil bit!" :)
changes..alterations.. and all these getin all the more hilarious with every passing "modifying change":P a "DIETICIAN"???? i ask you? ;) and the answer i get--"yup". period. and, well with the latter going thru so much of "changes" per se, its unfair that the former experiences none..so, the former too gets a new prefix--"sweet".. :))
p.s. : the prefix still continues.. :) but the suffix, has undergone a change,of late.. :))
plus, the "latter" also went thru further transformations, which were, as usual, all self-proclamatory :P
but the bottom line: neither one is actually complaining!! :D and each one, is kinda "loving" it.. [n yeah, it includes me too :)) mvah! :-*]
gnite..
it all started tonight-
with a wierd discussion, or,
had might even been a 'fight'?! :-o
and the reason, well,
it might have been unknowingly hidden,
for all prying,
for it, that we might! ;) :-P
but sense prevailed and peace restored-
with all smiles and "no-barred-holds" :-D
so, here am i,
running outta "rhymes" :-P
wishing you-
a very "good night!"
but my style-
"gnite.. sweetdreams.. your dreams.." :-* mvah! :-D
-A
10.3.10.
with a wierd discussion, or,
had might even been a 'fight'?! :-o
and the reason, well,
it might have been unknowingly hidden,
for all prying,
for it, that we might! ;) :-P
but sense prevailed and peace restored-
with all smiles and "no-barred-holds" :-D
so, here am i,
running outta "rhymes" :-P
wishing you-
a very "good night!"
but my style-
"gnite.. sweetdreams.. your dreams.." :-* mvah! :-D
-A
10.3.10.
identity
i am all that i am, n all that you see
yet i am nothing at all, n from you i flee
made of distortions and perceptions awry
i play the horizon, where always i lie..
-A.
yet i am nothing at all, n from you i flee
made of distortions and perceptions awry
i play the horizon, where always i lie..
-A.
hold on!
dont talk..dont breathe..
hold your breath,
coz you've me there
hanging on to it.
coz you're all that i've
my home....my hearth....
make it count;
every sigh..and each beat of your heart,
coz that's where i belong
and its all that i've.
we'll make it count
every moment of our lives
and every beats, of our two hearts..
coz we're all that
i've in you and you've in me!
and we'll hold on!
and surely make it count!
-A.
26.2.10.
dont talk..dont breathe..
hold your breath,
coz you've me there
hanging on to it.
coz you're all that i've
my home....my hearth....
make it count;
every sigh..and each beat of your heart,
coz that's where i belong
and its all that i've.
we'll make it count
every moment of our lives
and every beats, of our two hearts..
coz we're all that
i've in you and you've in me!
and we'll hold on!
and surely make it count!
-A.
26.2.10.
If I fell in love with you,
Would you promise to be true,
& help me understand?
Cause I've been in love before,
& I've found that love was more,
Than just holding hands.
If I give my heart to you,
I must be sure from the very start,
That you would love me more than her.
If I trust in you,Oh please,don't run and hide.
If I love you too,Oh please,don't hurt my pride like her,
Cause I couldn't stand the pain.
& I,would be sad if our new love was in vain,
So I hope you see,That I would love to love you.
if i fell in love with you.
Would you promise to be true,
& help me understand?
Cause I've been in love before,
& I've found that love was more,
Than just holding hands.
If I give my heart to you,
I must be sure from the very start,
That you would love me more than her.
If I trust in you,Oh please,don't run and hide.
If I love you too,Oh please,don't hurt my pride like her,
Cause I couldn't stand the pain.
& I,would be sad if our new love was in vain,
So I hope you see,That I would love to love you.
if i fell in love with you.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
clear sky -- black with a silver dot for a star
and clouds akin shreds of cotton of a worn out shirt
rain washed streets and glistening cement steps
with random patches of water, forming inconsistent puddles on them.
and its as serene as it can get
with nothing to disturb it and cause distress.
and such is the bliss of the silent night-
that i cant resist, but admire,
as i stand on my porch, gazing out to the clear black sky
with just a silver dot for a star.
-A.
22.11.10.
and clouds akin shreds of cotton of a worn out shirt
rain washed streets and glistening cement steps
with random patches of water, forming inconsistent puddles on them.
and its as serene as it can get
with nothing to disturb it and cause distress.
and such is the bliss of the silent night-
that i cant resist, but admire,
as i stand on my porch, gazing out to the clear black sky
with just a silver dot for a star.
-A.
22.11.10.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
i may be entitled for a not-so-very-good (i say "not-so-very-good" solely because, i dun like the sound that rings in the ears wen i say "bad day".. maybe because im paranoid n always dreading some distant "knowingly" unknown fear) day after an (or even some, at a stretch) amazingly satisfying (in all aspects) day(s) ( n even nyt(s))..but, its always in those "not-so-very-good" days, that my restlessness reaches to such great heights, that i fail to see reason n logic, of even the most simplest n the straight-forward-est thing.. n inevidently, i always make it horribly twisted n complicated.. the end result is nevertheless the one, that ultimately transcends into me getting (un)visibily depressed n distressed, even ending up crying n sobbing (the latter one 'performed' in strict seclusion, n the former one, in disguise)..
but i cannot help it, if i miss you the most (in a real bad way) on those "not-so-very-good" days..
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
♥ mere dil ne tujhse yaari ki baazi haari ♥
"tera karu intezaar,
tu mere dil ka karar,
itna, hai aetbaar
maanugi na mei bhi haar.."
♥
tu mere dil ka karar,
itna, hai aetbaar
maanugi na mei bhi haar.."
♥
how easy will it be, to just die?
with no one to bow to you, n no grief or sorrow;
is it realy that simple? to just let it be..like, slipping into oblivion?
n if i do it eventually, wat will i be losing?
something that i pride myself to be,
or something that i chide myself with?
but, then, if i do so much of soul-searching,
it wont really be "just-let-it-be" types..
so, wat do you say i do?
shut it all up n just DO?
n i still wonder-
how easy will it be
to just-- DIE.
with no one to bow to you, n no grief or sorrow;
is it realy that simple? to just let it be..like, slipping into oblivion?
n if i do it eventually, wat will i be losing?
something that i pride myself to be,
or something that i chide myself with?
but, then, if i do so much of soul-searching,
it wont really be "just-let-it-be" types..
so, wat do you say i do?
shut it all up n just DO?
n i still wonder-
how easy will it be
to just-- DIE.
Friday, November 5, 2010
" 'Od fata 'od!" :P:P
'Od fata 'od!
:D:P:P
well, this is my Diwali phrase of the day! :D n quite an interesting one, that too!
so, before i get down to the 'explanation' part of it, a brief 'intro' sorta thingy is definitely mangta hai. :) n not to mention, the source of it, as always (for stuffs that can be certified "controversial")---POPS!!!! :D *luv*
and so, circa 1230 hrs, diwali afternoon, with sun beating down..aah! so much glad for the AC innova.. :p moi n pops (yeah!!!! the best ever team :):D) were assigned a duty..n so, we're off (thankful for the AC innova :P)--*tantanaaaaa* STAR Bazaar *Tantaaannaaaa* the usual chores done, bill paid n then the exit.. n then it hit!!!!
"ki 'od! ki 'od!"---i explained!! a bit irritatingly!
[note: "'od" as such, is no proper word..in fact, it is not even a really colloquial term, per se, either.. but, its been in use, mostly (n probably) by me (only n exclusively) :P *voila* but nevertheless, lemme spill it.. it means--in bong (of course) "rod".. or in hindi "dhup" n in english "sun" :P]
i said again, n this time with my eyes squinting..pops looked at me.. n then at the blistering 'od outside.. n said--"'od fata 'od"..period.
[note-2: now that i've explained 'od, lemme explain "fata".. its a real simple term.. meaning "crack".. n of course, again, in bong!]
so, the translation is still in a real murky state for me.. :( "'od fata 'od" = "dhup cracking dhup" ??? ? ?
nah.. something was terribly amiss..i ask pops--"maane?" pops replied "ask mamma.. she'll tell".. well, so, nothing more to be done.. i had to ask mamma..so, first thing i do, after entering the house-- "mamma, 'od fata 'od maane ki?" n wat followed was a hysterical laugh.. "strange", thought moi! i asked again.. you see, i was persisitent.. mamma tried to shy off n pass it on to pops.. n pops followed suit.. n this went on (the passing the pass game)..but i WAS insistent.. n ultimately, after a lot of effort in stiffling the crazy laughs, pops came up with the explanation.. n in precise terms that i would understand without any difficulty..
"'od fata 'od" = "ass cracking dhoop"!!!
aaha!!!!
i feel "enlightened"! :)
indeed a HAPPY DIWALI! :D
:D:P:P
well, this is my Diwali phrase of the day! :D n quite an interesting one, that too!
so, before i get down to the 'explanation' part of it, a brief 'intro' sorta thingy is definitely mangta hai. :) n not to mention, the source of it, as always (for stuffs that can be certified "controversial")---POPS!!!! :D *luv*
and so, circa 1230 hrs, diwali afternoon, with sun beating down..aah! so much glad for the AC innova.. :p moi n pops (yeah!!!! the best ever team :):D) were assigned a duty..n so, we're off (thankful for the AC innova :P)--*tantanaaaaa* STAR Bazaar *Tantaaannaaaa* the usual chores done, bill paid n then the exit.. n then it hit!!!!
"ki 'od! ki 'od!"---i explained!! a bit irritatingly!
[note: "'od" as such, is no proper word..in fact, it is not even a really colloquial term, per se, either.. but, its been in use, mostly (n probably) by me (only n exclusively) :P *voila* but nevertheless, lemme spill it.. it means--in bong (of course) "rod".. or in hindi "dhup" n in english "sun" :P]
i said again, n this time with my eyes squinting..pops looked at me.. n then at the blistering 'od outside.. n said--"'od fata 'od"..period.
[note-2: now that i've explained 'od, lemme explain "fata".. its a real simple term.. meaning "crack".. n of course, again, in bong!]
so, the translation is still in a real murky state for me.. :( "'od fata 'od" = "dhup cracking dhup" ??? ? ?
nah.. something was terribly amiss..i ask pops--"maane?" pops replied "ask mamma.. she'll tell".. well, so, nothing more to be done.. i had to ask mamma..so, first thing i do, after entering the house-- "mamma, 'od fata 'od maane ki?" n wat followed was a hysterical laugh.. "strange", thought moi! i asked again.. you see, i was persisitent.. mamma tried to shy off n pass it on to pops.. n pops followed suit.. n this went on (the passing the pass game)..but i WAS insistent.. n ultimately, after a lot of effort in stiffling the crazy laughs, pops came up with the explanation.. n in precise terms that i would understand without any difficulty..
"'od fata 'od" = "ass cracking dhoop"!!!
aaha!!!!
i feel "enlightened"! :)
indeed a HAPPY DIWALI! :D
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
dearest chuhiya,
and before i actually start off the conventional "letter writing", i've a confession (of some sort) to make! i was almost so tempted (n even thought of, but discarded the thought owing to my poor and rather horrible drawing skills :P) to kinda "draw" a "chuhiya" instead of writing "chuhiya"!
sorry! :D
so, anyway, getting back to the conventional "letter writing" mode. was just sitting alone, at the dining table, thinking about you. yeah, a bit wierd, coz i generally dun sit and start thinking about anyone in such an off-handed manner.
and the fact still remains-- i was thinking! maybe, a lot has to do woth our recent night's conversation and my subsequent posting on my blog (which was a DISASTER, nevertheless). and then the urge to write became so prominent, that i actually spent 15 mins, searching for paper and pen! (and this is to say that i still find myself at a terrible loss, at this new house when it comes to search/find things. be it anything!
and finallt armed and equipped, when i started to write, my mind was flooded with the past memories of our saga of writing letters and posting them to each other. and i smiled (and im still smilimg!!)
and before, i could even think, what to write about in this letter, i realised that i was shakin with complete excitement-- for the very idea of "writing" a letter to you, again!!
and this might even sound really hilarious and equally irritatingly pissing off too-- i realised that i dont have anything particular to write about in this letter. so much for the effort that you put in-- starting from opening the envelope and eventually tearing it off :P and then pain-stakingly going through my illegible handwriting!
but still, to be very frank and honest, the very idea (in itself) of writing a letter and posting it to you was so exciting that i just had to do it.
even if right now, its all plain non-sense!
i dont care! :D:D
n i miss you so!! :(
luv!
psycho!
and before i actually start off the conventional "letter writing", i've a confession (of some sort) to make! i was almost so tempted (n even thought of, but discarded the thought owing to my poor and rather horrible drawing skills :P) to kinda "draw" a "chuhiya" instead of writing "chuhiya"!
sorry! :D
so, anyway, getting back to the conventional "letter writing" mode. was just sitting alone, at the dining table, thinking about you. yeah, a bit wierd, coz i generally dun sit and start thinking about anyone in such an off-handed manner.
and the fact still remains-- i was thinking! maybe, a lot has to do woth our recent night's conversation and my subsequent posting on my blog (which was a DISASTER, nevertheless). and then the urge to write became so prominent, that i actually spent 15 mins, searching for paper and pen! (and this is to say that i still find myself at a terrible loss, at this new house when it comes to search/find things. be it anything!
and finallt armed and equipped, when i started to write, my mind was flooded with the past memories of our saga of writing letters and posting them to each other. and i smiled (and im still smilimg!!)
and before, i could even think, what to write about in this letter, i realised that i was shakin with complete excitement-- for the very idea of "writing" a letter to you, again!!
and this might even sound really hilarious and equally irritatingly pissing off too-- i realised that i dont have anything particular to write about in this letter. so much for the effort that you put in-- starting from opening the envelope and eventually tearing it off :P and then pain-stakingly going through my illegible handwriting!
but still, to be very frank and honest, the very idea (in itself) of writing a letter and posting it to you was so exciting that i just had to do it.
even if right now, its all plain non-sense!
i dont care! :D:D
n i miss you so!! :(
luv!
psycho!
Monday, November 1, 2010
LOL-(est)!! :D
lol.. yeah..seriously LOL :D:D:D:D
this happened yesterday..yester-'night', more like it (that way!)..it was moi n mamma..sitting at the dining table.. after everything had been wounded up, kitchen closed and cleaned (n subsequently shut).. i was with my double stock of the last mumbai newspapers (courtesy mumbai airport :P)..pops was busy 'entertaining' robin mesho with "omen".. n mamma had initially (originally) resorted to going back to bed and "falling asleep"-a venture, in which failing miserably :p :p
and so thus it was-- me at the table, joined by mamma, and then eventually pops.. sitting, chatting, talking, laughing gaily :):) n then, pops gets my lapi..n turns it on.. ;) wat followed is somewat embarrassingly hilarious.. :D
my walpaper is currently boasting of (a relatively good or i can say, 'better') photo of moi! :) n well, the pic is not entirely of "moi" alone.. its a pic--moi n 'p.a' ;) n quite a good one that too!! (i bow down to the photographer :) ) yeah.. so, it starts up, without any trouble.. n the desktop is shown, with the wallpaper n "us" smiling from it in full glorified manner.. :D :)
n mamma, intrigued by the lapi's start-up sound n the light emitted from the wallpaper (desktop), leaned over to have a peek.. n then she saw.. ;P n she stared.. she waited.. probably hoping for pops to react in her desired manner.. but wen that dint happen, she herself mustered up her courage! :P
she sat up.. shuffled a bit on her place.. faced me.. n caught my absolute un-fazed look..she stared back at the lapi.. n finally "eta k?" a question.. n a very confused stare..towards me.. "eta ******..building-er neeche tola photo".. followed by some more shuffling..and a few more stare-backs n peeks to the lapi screen (which by then had changed to some window, courtesy pops..)
n that was the end of last "night's" saga.. but im sure, with the mention of the one person in every conversation that im having with mamma, irrespective of the time n the topic, per se, im sure, she's having more than "just a lil doubt" in her mind.. :P some serious thought processing going on im sure.. n of-course, countless shuffling n infinite refer-back to the desktop-wallpaper.. :D
n til then, im still not in any mood to change my now existing desktop wallpaper.. :) n im gonna persist with that, for some time more (thats to come)..till i really run out of all the reasons, for not having that as my wall paper..
*love*
this happened yesterday..yester-'night', more like it (that way!)..it was moi n mamma..sitting at the dining table.. after everything had been wounded up, kitchen closed and cleaned (n subsequently shut).. i was with my double stock of the last mumbai newspapers (courtesy mumbai airport :P)..pops was busy 'entertaining' robin mesho with "omen".. n mamma had initially (originally) resorted to going back to bed and "falling asleep"-a venture, in which failing miserably :p :p
and so thus it was-- me at the table, joined by mamma, and then eventually pops.. sitting, chatting, talking, laughing gaily :):) n then, pops gets my lapi..n turns it on.. ;) wat followed is somewat embarrassingly hilarious.. :D
my walpaper is currently boasting of (a relatively good or i can say, 'better') photo of moi! :) n well, the pic is not entirely of "moi" alone.. its a pic--moi n 'p.a' ;) n quite a good one that too!! (i bow down to the photographer :) ) yeah.. so, it starts up, without any trouble.. n the desktop is shown, with the wallpaper n "us" smiling from it in full glorified manner.. :D :)
n mamma, intrigued by the lapi's start-up sound n the light emitted from the wallpaper (desktop), leaned over to have a peek.. n then she saw.. ;P n she stared.. she waited.. probably hoping for pops to react in her desired manner.. but wen that dint happen, she herself mustered up her courage! :P
she sat up.. shuffled a bit on her place.. faced me.. n caught my absolute un-fazed look..she stared back at the lapi.. n finally "eta k?" a question.. n a very confused stare..towards me.. "eta ******..building-er neeche tola photo".. followed by some more shuffling..and a few more stare-backs n peeks to the lapi screen (which by then had changed to some window, courtesy pops..)
n that was the end of last "night's" saga.. but im sure, with the mention of the one person in every conversation that im having with mamma, irrespective of the time n the topic, per se, im sure, she's having more than "just a lil doubt" in her mind.. :P some serious thought processing going on im sure.. n of-course, countless shuffling n infinite refer-back to the desktop-wallpaper.. :D
n til then, im still not in any mood to change my now existing desktop wallpaper.. :) n im gonna persist with that, for some time more (thats to come)..till i really run out of all the reasons, for not having that as my wall paper..
*love*
you n "home"-coming :)
Homecoming is always special..especially when you cease to be a permnent fixture at your own "home".. n even if you are an officailly certified a nobody n a not-so-significant-in-any-way kind of an entity, you're nevertheless bestowed with such a highest degree of regalness, that if the kings n the queens would have been alive, they would also have probably come down from their thrones and handed over their crowns.. :) such is the intensity of the royal treatment that im subjected to! :D
and maybe..just "maybe" for this reason, however horribly homesick (whose brunt is always borne by my poor p.a. (*sholly baby:) :love! :hugs!*) that i might get (n suffer from) wen im away, i am always wanting to go 'away' from "home"..so, when i come back, it gets a "happy" home-coming of all sorts for me!
so, my dearest p.a, sweetz (*:hugs!*), brace yourself up, for another round of dealing-with-my-home'sick'ness..coz i love the way you never cease to enthrall me, in your 'signature' and 'patent' style.. (n you can very well (fosho-ly) give a certain "barney stinson" a good run for his money!)
*love* :P
*shut up!*
<3
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