:-P

You eat, You sleep
You walk, You breathe
I doze, I stroll
I sigh, but I dun hog!
You smile, You talk
You laugh, You chat
I cheer, I gush
and get flustered when I blush!
and yet I say
that "WE" do it all
You as "YOU" and I as "I"
the "YOU"s and "I"s never coincide
but somehow, it still helps
for a "WE" to rise!


p.s.: a horrible attempt! :-P thats wat accounts does to me!

snippet

"speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."

"if you trully believe that you will write the tale of your life, then the end is upto you."

.. :( ..

Damn Damn Damn
i miss you..
i miss our barista moments..
i miss our walking-in-the-streets moments..
i miss your ruing-over-my-long-hair-gone-short moments..
oh Damn!!!!!
i so damn miss you..
:(

p.s.: my hair has in fact grown back! *:wink!*

cold-blooded.. :-P

criss-crossing paths
with a hint of 'desperation' *chuckle*
n the reason for which may even be a certain amount of the J-factor :-P

aa aah aaaaahhhhh.. ;) *the grinch smile!*

"you amaze me" :))

this is something which was written almost a year back..for a dearest n closest person in my life, [:)] who still continues to be so.. *love :)* just thought of putting in the 'limelight'.. a much deserved one that too.. *chuckle*

you amaze me, and you ask me the reason.
and i'm amazed that i'm actually thinking of the reasons to tell you! how is that for starters, huh? :-*


you amaze me--for the way i took to you. you were a stranger, unknown and unfamiliar, yet there was something. something which never let me feel distant and awkward with you. something which always delighted me!


you amazed me (then), when you searched me out in orkut--a year back! and you amaze me now, when i think of the way we (or rather i) spoke. it was fun. it was funny. it was funnily wierd. but it was nice.


you amazed me--when you vanished and then surfaced again--only to ask explanations from me! "gayab kaun hua tha, main ya tu?" lol      :-D


you amazed me with your new-found love for "onion"! :-P will never be able to forget that! ever!


you amaze me--when your calls and messages coincide with the times when i miss you!


you amaze me--when, inspite of being annoyed and irritated with you, i still look for you.


you amaze me--fo the way i give "bhao" to you! :-P


you amaze me with your non-chalant ways, and when i get accustomed to that, you amaze me with your all-so-concerned attitude!


you amazed me when you shared some of your closest thoughts with me and never expected anything back.


you amaze me--with your blunt statements, which you say in a-matter-of-fact tone!


you amaze me when you're stern with me! all very authoritarian types. lol.


you amaze me--when you answer me back,even when i call you names! and you definitely amazed me, when you said that you love it, when i call you "Meano"! :-P :-D


you amaze me--for the way you tolerate me. the way you bear with my madness and my absolute illogical reasonings.


you amazed me--when you feigned jealousness whenever the talks used to veer over to your friend and me!


and you amazed me with your possessiveness, which were even blunt at times.


and of course, you amaze me--when i agreed to become your all-time alarm clock! damn!


you amaze me--how i miss you, when i dun hear from you! and you amaze me--how you can stay patient with me!


you amaze me, when you share your thoughts with me!


you amazed me--when i actually heeded your "advice" (abt the photo comments) lol


you amaze me--at my inability to give you reasons, when you ask for it.


and now i'm amazed, that i wrote so much thinking why you amaze me! duh-uh!


you amaze me--for i never thought that one careless statement, would lead to such soul searching....


yes! you do amaze me!!! (chhotu bachha/bunty/meano!) :-D


mvah!

harassed!

of-late, i've seen, many of my known people echoing coinciding feelings and views.. of that "being harassed by the three dots of eternity"..n this actually brings me down to the point of analysing those factors that im harassed by.. n NO, they are not the three dots of eternity.. though, by now, with so many people using this terminology im outrightly intrigued to look up in the dictionary for what it really means.. anyway, coming back to the point.. (gosh! im so ood at digressing away from the point of discussion :-P)

well, so, the initial discussion was about wat is causing me to be harassed..n this has to do with invitations..
yesh yesh.. you heard it absolutely right.. INVITATIONS!!!! from certain specific people n from some not-so-specific people.. but still, the nature of the invitation remains the same..

n im harassed, not because that the very source of these invitations are un-welcoming, but only because of my sheer inability of realising these invitations.. :'( though, of these three invitations, there is one, which i'd so like n love to make it come true.. (*wishing earnestly..against the grain*) but then again, this is just a distant dream.. *sigh!*

n just to elucidate a bit more on those invitations, one hasby now acquired the status of being "perennial" n comes from the very own "ROCKIN' CITY" :-D
the next up in queue is from my nearest "neighbour".. n the latest one being from my "pseudo-near neighbour"..

p.s. : the "ROCKIN' CITY" one is definitely the most exciting.. :-D n thus the reason for the max grief.. :-/

'words' n its 'worth' :P

just wondering..
words n for all that they're worth..which eventually brings me tot hat certain person named 'wordsworth'.. with all due respect (may his souls continue resting in peace) n no offense at all, watsoever..

but i still cant help but wonder, did he eventually take to the words n thus justify his 'name', that might have been bestowed upon to him in very loving manner by none other than his great family members..
or such was his intensity n passion towards the words, per se, that his surrounding inhabitants were forced to come upon such a nomenclature for describing him which they put forward across him as their way honouring him :P n such was his dedication towards them, that i order to fully perform justice at the name thus bestowed, that he took to the words with anewed zest n vigour..
n the end of which, we're the ones to suffer.. :P

and i only have the sweet memories
etched forever in my mind
of the beautiful time that we'd had..

and everytime i go back, i see us sitting there
in that laid back poise, n arms entwined..
i close my eyes and search for you
only to open them, n find you--just there
with your arms entwined in mine,
and sitting in that laid back poise..
and a wry smile which says that you always knew
all these....all this time along..

Firsts..

You were the First one to say "Hi" when we met the First time
You were the First to initiate the conversation
You were the First to continue the conversation
You were the First to make the conversation Last..
You were the Last one I wished "A Happy Valentine"
You were the First one to wish me on Holi n also the one to do the same on "Dhuleti"
You were the First one with whom I indulged in a play of "colours" over conversation
You were the First one whom I told about me wearing a sari to college
You were the First one to agree with me that I look different in a sari
You were the Last one to tell me that I looked great on that day in the sari
You were the only one to tell me that I dint look cute, but great, in the sari
You were the First one to message me on my new number
You were the First one to follow my buzzes religiously
You were the First one with whom it became mandatory to wish "gnite" every night..
You were the First one to call
You were always the First one to wish for my 2nd sem exams
n You were always the First one to know about the outcomes of it
You were the First one to wish me "Shubho Nabo Barsho" n translate it too
You were the First one to know about my First "home" trip plans
You always made me the First one to know about You
I was always the First one to face your "being-sad" moments
You were the First to make up after fighs and put my mood alright
You were the First one I sent stuff, purely because I wanted to
I was the First one to wish You on your birthday n continued wishing throughout the day
I was the Last one to message You on your Last day at home before you left for H*****
I was the First one to know that You reached H*****
I was the First one You cribbed to from H*****..
You were the First person to off my mood on the Last day of my year
n You were the Last person I chatted with on the Last day of my year
Yours was the First message I saw after I got up on my birthday
You were the First person I chatted with on my birthday
You were the First person to wish me 22 times on my birthday
n You were the Last person I spoke to on my birthday..
You are the Last person I speak to every night.
I was the First one to know about your transfer to J*******
You were the reason for my First trip to home on the Last week of July
You were the First one to get a peek into my soul through my words
You are always the First one to know about my going home plans
I was the First one to convince You to come to "home" during september "hols"
You were the First one to make plans for meeting
You were the First one to make sure that it turns out that way
You were the First one I wished "Shubho Mahalaya" in bong n gave You its translation too..
I was the First one to know all about your travel itenary
You were the First one with whom I continued chatting even on roaming
I was the First to know about your G** plans
n I was the First reason for your M***** halt..
You are the First one I gave my books to
n You are the First one whose books I own..

n as the year ends,
I still wait for You to be the First one to message me everyday
n I still want to be the Last one to tel You "Gnite..Sweetdreams..Your dreams" every night..

n a silent prayer, till it reaches OUR FIRST!

I made the mark on January 27th

Between me and you, you can call it birth

The beginning of our universe

Remind me of Alicia keys verse

Im falling for you

I wish I had an opportunity to not do

What I did to hurt you

And now I’m here living with regrets

I know that it was my fault

I know that I got caught

So please don’t lose your thoughts

Of me loving you and you loving me

I’m on the highway swerving

I ain’t drunk but I’m about to hit the curb’n

Looking at the calendar getting nervous

Just a few more days to the first soul

Get the calendar, go to March 10th

1st words stay, we heard our first words

First argument gotta let it go

‘cause it could possibly affect what our future holds

Flipping pages now famous

Thinking back I ain’t seen you in ages

Wishing that I coulda make it little painless

Brings me back right back to the same as

January, February, march april, may

June, july, august, september is just another day

October, November, December trying to find a way

In January to mark my calendar to meet again

If only we can go to that place where me and you know

There’s no faith fronting cheating even lying

The time has come where we stand face to face

This is the day it all began

One place that it came together

More than a ring or a tattoo

Wish your birthmark that reminds of you

So lets get on an airplane

Go back to where we began

To that point which is days apart

That stamp right next to your heart.

"STRANGE"--n "STRANGE"ly absent

would you really term it "strange"??? well, i think you might.. but somehow, "strange"ly though, i'm not finding it "strange" enough.. yeah.. "strangely"....

n if i start recounting the various incidents, im sure, you'll be alarmed due to the degree of "strange"ness, or its due lack-off to my conscience.. but still, im not finding it "strange" at all..

conversation..random..but still enjoyable..*brownie points*..n a minute too much delay is enuf to ring fidgety-bells for me.. i start fidgeting.. going back to the last piece of message a thousand times over.. almost to the extent of memorising the total no. of characters used..refresh the page..check for the network..and curse for the lack off it..again back to the last msg..this time, just fondly looking..not 'opening' it..now thinking wats taking You so long?did i offend You in some way?? *oh shit! damn!* go back to "sent messages" n scout through every single message.. even the ones sent previous day..scrutinise..microscopic analysis..anxiety levels peaking..an then----"beep beep beep beep beeep!"---it rings! and a great sigh of relief on seeing its in continuation and the chain dint break.. *sigh*.. and all the above mentioned restlessness was just an account of 5 minutes..yeah, it was just probably "5 minutes" to all the normal sane people, but it kinda seemed to be quite an never-ending piece of eternity stretching over the zillioneth landscape of infinity..
n such used to be me.. not too long ago, that too..
but not now..not any more. "strange"???? i know, you're screaming your lungs out --"YES" but i dont find it to be..

n somehow, after that incident, i just dont feel anything.. does it mean that im over You? or does it imply that You've gone back to being just another entity in this vast universe..with just a non-specific face? if its the later, then i'll have to sadly submit myself to the 'unfirtunate' status of this happening.. but if its the former, then i dunno what to say or to feel..

but then again, all this dint come for free.. it had a very steep price attached to it..n still a part of 'payment' left to be satisfied..(something, that you've warned me of, stating drastic steps that you'll be taking if i do that..but im really sorry, somehow, i dont really see a way out of it..)

im just numb.. with all that has happened, it has left me with no further scope to feel anything..maybe, when it was all "good", it was probably so much of being good that it might have crossed all the permissible limits and thus caused al the "moral polices" to sit back and restrict those..n so, now that its not "good", somehow, after that one fateful moment in time, i dont feel it, at all.. n somehow "strangely" (yes, this time, it is!), You are no longer specific..

or, on the other hand, is this what is called "generally" as "L-O-V-E"? and this, a form of the greater assurance that comes with it? or is it just plain non-chalance on my part? that has nothing to do with any emotions that can have their strings attatched to that thing called "L-O-V-E"..?
am i reacting too much? i dunno.. maybe..maybe not..
but in the end, it doesnt even matter anymore.

To You..

dear YOU,
n no, i cant realy start of in the usual customary manner..because, i just happened to realise, that, maybe it is not 'customary' for me to address You as per the "customs".. because of one very simple reason.. the "customs" themselves cease to exist when it concerns You..

yes, You may say, (n quite rightly so too) that You have pretty much of a say in my doings..a fact that even i liked and would have greatly wanted it to be that way..for a long long n long time too.. but i just realised, that this is something probably too much to ask for.. coz, maybe, i'd forgotten the fierce n the most protective nature (innate) of mine when it comes at safeguarding my free spirit..

no, this has got NOTHING to do with ANYTHING! n yet, for some really wierdly obscure reason (which, by far, is visible only to You, n You alone), You are always apprehensive.. for what? n that is something, even i would like to know.. n more so, when NOTHING exists, how can ANYTHING really exist?

n so, a few things that i would like to state, for once n for all..

1. You may think to have assumed certain 'rights', but unless You really choose to define You'r credibility, I'm sorry, I might just have to override You'r (so believed) 'rights'.
2. I know (very well) that You are not justified in You'r doings. n I would very much like a valid justification (lemme see, what can You come up with!).. unless it goes back to the case (which I have a feeling, that it eventually will) where You dont have or rather You run out of all possible valid justifications, when I ask for the very same..something that I've always been warning You of.
3. n lastly, (hopefully) certain unsaid 'habits' will still persist.. coz, I treasure them.. n i leave it on You, to have You'r say on that..You'r discretion..entirely.. (n as i used to dread-- certain things should never be changed to "accustomisations"..coz, a habit it easy to forego..but "accustomisations", alas, they, unfortunately, happen to dig way way deeper..)

n thats all, that I had to tell You.. n I will not wait for You'r reply to this, per se.. it'll be known, in the form of those certain "accustomisations"..

Yours trully,
I.