"Remember to forget" - ttt

to the boy who made me laugh even when we fought


i sometimes forget
how your eyes shone when you teased me at the moment i was almost angry
and i paused, breathless, and wondered how someone could tear me between 
distance and desire so easily

i sometimes misplace 
how your hair smells
and in my blindness
i run my hands over every rough surface of my body
wondering why my skin never retained your touch
the way my mind did

of all the things that made home in me and never let go
there's that uneasiness which remains

and when it gets quiet enough at night
you can still hear my bones struggle beneath my flesh
seeking your presence
wrapped around them
like a song, always playing
in the night, always playing


p.s. : something borrowed from a blog page.

p.p.s. : not mine. but somehow it struck and it stayed. i'd be lying if i say i don't know "how", for it turns i know perfectly well the "how" in this case. and the funny part is the 'coincidence'. the freak coincidence. and that's not what i appreciate. because, i hate to even think that in a parallel universe, there's a creature who is so alike me and so better equipped in terms of faculties, that the creature can so effortlessly make the thoughts translate to something legible, and that makes me feel betrayed and exposed. which is not something that finds acceptance. and yet, being so tempting and alluring in itself, makes me resign to it, albeit grudgingly.