anonymous

i wish i was cold as stone

then i wouldn't feel a thing

i wish i didn't have this heart

then i wouldn't know of the sting of the pain

i could stand strong and still

watching you walk away

i wouldn't hurt like this

or feel so all alone

almost turned around in the corner

pulled over on the shoulder along the way

thought by now, i'd be fine

but all these tears are blurring every line

and i think back to when you were mine.

yeah, it's gonna take forever to get over you

oh and i don't think this pain's gonna go away

oh, scars left when it's said and done remain.

i wish i was cold as stone.

and if you ask me whats the worst kinda shit ever? i'll say muscle memory and repressed memory.. the former never goes away (sic)and the latter always keeps surging back at you.. and nothing can beat that shit! and i have started doubting when people say "time is the best healer".. they are all just simply fucking around with you, because they themselves don't know what to say, and they don't wanna be the bad guy..

and its the time like this, when you are confused about the feeling of "hurt" and "pain".. and it is now, when you really desire for the "tangible" pain.. to give the lingering intangible one a definite form, albeit just for a few minutes.. and believe it or not, its always in the form of a result of an activity, which is your salvation, or your escape from the mad vile world..

and if i thought taking the name would be easy, i was so wrong.. 'coz it fucked me up.. all the more..all these days of me being numb and trying to live myself by that, was foiled with just the utterance.. in fact, it was not even the utterance, per se..
i was so wrong.. and delusional..

******