trust me to fuck things up.. so royally and so nicely.. and just when i really had started to think that things are getting along nice and smooth.. just when i had started to think that maybe i am getting to that point where i can handle certain "issues" in a mature manner.. and at exactly that precise opportune moment i had to screw things up.. almost maybe even to the extent of one of beyond repairs!
the day was going along nicely.. so very nicely.. i was animated throughout.. the evening was exciting to start with.. everything so perfectly perfect.. sweetheart, et al..
and i just simply had to ruin it all.. fuck it all over.. hold it upside down and screw it thoroughly..
and for the first time i know what i am not proud of.. that one thing i detest in me..
i am vulnerable..pathetically so..and for some wierd reason, they dint need any 'prior preparation' or 'protected and calculated invitation'.. they just conquered all that was left of me.
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