for You, Mr.S..one last time

Yes, Mr.S

Yes, You were always right and I was always wrong.. Do I find it funny, entertaining, enlightening  intelligent, or say, sad or otherwise that You were right and I was wrong? What do You think, Mr.S? Because You always knew what it meant to me.. No, oh no.. Not conceding this loss to You but the fact that I lost here.. Here, which I took to be my foreground, my forte of unalloyed joy, my world with the people in it..

Yes, Mr.S, You were right because what I thought to be mine was never mine, what I thought I deserved, I did not, or should I put it like this that what they got they never deserved.. And what is it that, that they did not deserve, Mr.S? Is it about the moments of sadness, the hand giving You comfort, or the moments of happiness, the same hand clapping for Your joy? What is it that which they deserve Mr.S?

No, Mr.S, I don't want to pretend any more of the happiness which isn't mine, of the friendship that was never mine, or that hum and lull of the same experience, of the tell tale promises and the lies behind, a bit of hypocrisy of theirs or mine, Mr.S? Am I sorry now when as You always said I have experienced everything? Have tried to win and lost nevertheless?

No. Mr.S, no.. I never expected things to be like this or that or whatever for that matter of fact.. But I didn't take this defeat as the everlasting defeat because I have faith and hope.. But hoping for this bliss again is very funny, because both You and I know that it is unattainable.. You learnt it through Your way and me with my way.. And it makes me sad, Mr.S, real sad that it had to be me..

Yes, Mr.S.. You were right from the very beginning..

Yours,
A.