trust

i often wonder..

• does "trust" come with "time"? 

or it is the other way round (maybe)?

• does "time" happen because of the "trust"?

do you learn to put our trust in someone, only after you have spent a considerable amount of a 'lot-of-time' "together" and "with each other", both in tangible and intangible manner, that "trust" comes just like a "to be implied" step? like a course of nature? like, something happening out of "habitual customs"?

what is it, really?

i have been troubled a lot by this small little five-letter word beyond any measurable limits, off-late.. and the main reason being, of-course the 'betrayal' and the "breaking".. ("false pretense"--a song aptly put)

and it also involves "time".. and thus the conflict between "trust" and "time".. 

taking the first case, believing for the sake of it, lets say--trust comes with time..

if that's so, then by now, after so much of a "time"--all inclusive of spending a 'lot-of-time' "together" and "with each other", both in tangible and intangible manner--"trust" should be the inevitable.. that is, there should be no question of it.. like submissive nature.. after all, close to three years.. and three years a pretty long time.. going by the present day time-frame..

considering the alternative, that, "time" happens because of the "trust"..

on the face of it, it actually appears to be more logical.. look at it this way--only after you trust being with the other, you will spend a 'lot-of-time' "together" and "with each other" both in tangible and intangible manner.. so, you need to put on the trust first, and then "time" will build on, on its own.. like the course of nature.. free-flowing(?) three years..(?)

and i'm still equally, if not any less and/or  more, troubled by it.. and this ain't no "chicken-egg" question..

but, all these 'can't-be-helped' types wondering made me realise something very true.. 

at this point in "time" of my life, i think, i know where my heart lies and whom does it beat for.. and so maybe, i can afford to choose to look beyond this conflict for this one instance..

i have been in it for sometime now.. and that 'sometime' qualifies to be a "long time".. and given anything, i want it to sustain.. and to make it sustain itself, i have to make it stronger than what it already is, with all our efforts and doings.. so, from my side, i have to put my trust in it.. blindly.. with the belief that this will hold.. not giving a rat's ass to the "time".. and "trust" till it is shattered to shards due to some third party/ foreign body external source.. because, if i don't do that, i can very well be qualifying as the culprit.. and i wont be able to hold myself answerable even to myself.. and i very sure don't want that...

so, "trust" it is from my side.. complete and blind.. till its forcibly denied..

coz the "time" till now, has been a blissful gift.. loved and cherished.. and relived each day..

*love*
p.s. counting it down to the day till i blow out the 'three' :)
p.p.s **love**

**###########**

AND THAT'S EASIER SAID THAN DONE.PERIOD.