connecting the dots

she was perturbed.. and unperturbed about the fact that she was perturbed.. maybe she knew the reason for her being perturbed.. for the first time till that instant of her life, she was retracing to all the words she once blew into the abyss of anonymity.. and she knew that instant, that maybe it wasnt lost in that anonymity at all.. because what she thought of being just a random sliver of thought, was infact turned out to be as not at all random.. and she knew where it all connected.. and she knew the connection.. she was amazed though.. amazed, that even back then, she chose to hold on to something she never had.. something she always thought that she had.. but never had it in actuality.. all she had then was that unknown and inexplicable understanding, feel, maybe faith even.. but that was all she had.. and funnily enough, not for even once, did she question them.. and today, when she went back to all those slivers waived into oblivion, she could draw out all the strings and attach it to perfect harmony.. maybe, for once in her life, she did chose The Right One..         and so, standing today, she knew, its yet again resonating--in the end, it doesnt even matter..-- but only a  different sort.. because, what matters is what she has.. what she got.. and nothing else matters..
and she was perturbed no more..period.