and the end is very near now.. almost at a sniffing distance..
(well, this part of what im gonna write now is more associated with the "ending" of a "life", as in the conventional norms and the meanings of "life".. but nevertheless, the "metaphorical" affinity that i have, im extending it to what i would like to define.. *chuckle!*)
people say, "when you know you are at your final stages of your life, drawing the gasps of the last remaining airs as permitted by your lungs, you tend to see, or, have the flashes of the most beautiful and fond memories of your long/short life's worth. and more often than not, the real major part of those memory flashes belong to those specific individuals (often classified as "living beings") with whom, knowingly or unknowingly or deliberately "classified by yourself n your inner conscience" as unknowingly, you've had the most wonderful and lovely moments of your entire lifetime. and then, it doesnt really matter, how long or short, your association was with that "living being" in question."
this is the most simple of observations. n something that will never run into the danger of being refuted!
so, standing where i am right now, as i can percieve the "end", i have some very clear images that are forming a beautiful canvas in my mind (or heart?!). beautiful memories, 'love'ly feelings n probably the very bestest of rendezvous. and yes, the major part of the canvas is taken over by one living being, a "homo sapien" to be precise. and surprisingly, the time reference is the least time of associations..
call it a coincidence, the "ending" also coincides with the homo sapien in question here! though, in a different light.. ;)
just like a dying man's last wish, i too have a "wish" (and a hope) that culminates to a picture perfect frame, before me finally felling the curtains and the credits rolling to "THE END"..
the "wish(es)" may not be extravagant, but they definitely are exuberent in emotions n feelings. (well, i'm a girl, at the end of the day! and a 'crab'by one at that too!) so, my perfect scene unfolds thus:
the twilight falling, gradually making its way to the dusk..i can see the last fading rays of the setting sun..almost as if like, it doesnt want to go, but yet it has to..doesnt want to create the impression of a hopefull utopia..(hope, it says, is good.. but it is the best, to only live with the "hope" and never to promote it to higher credits..it is only "hope").. i watch the sun go down, with that warm glow till the end..i sit looking ahead.. i see the silvery waves now.. they want to reach up to me, but i keep that tantalising distance.. cuz, i know, any association might pull me back and make my arrivederci painful..and i dont want it that way.. and so i sit.. under the stars and the queen's necklace.. b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. and with the homo-sapien in question.. next to me..both of ours favourite spot, that..with arms around me and a light shower.. its as perfect as it can get.. moving over from there, as the "dusk" finally turns jet-black, heading for 'intoxication'..and a strange song starts plying in my mind,
"When shadows fall, I pass a small cafe,Where we would dance at night,And I can't help recalling how it Felt to kiss and hold you tight...."
n im reminded of the sweet kiss at midnight---that resembled both the initiation and the termination.. we leave from there, with me standing on the rocks "with arms wide open, under the (moon)light" taking in the last whiff of the place, wishing the memories would also go wihtin me with the air that i breathe in, as my parting shot.. you walk me down to my "home", n i realise that it is my last walk with you.. i dun want to let you go, but i know that i have to.. and i should. we both stand there.. have so many things to say, but unaware of how to do them..n all we end up with is wishing desperately that each of us understands what each wants the other to understand. the last goodbye. and the last kiss.. of love. of austerity. i'll take with me the kiss, n keep it in the "am besten" casket..safe and secure.. hidden from all......
it all seems so perfect.. perfect in the ending itself.. but sometimes, the imperfections are the bestest justifications of all the beautiful 'conspirations'.. and so, i intend to keep it at the imperfectionest best.. coz, that will carry the "hope" of my return for its "perfection".. and "hope" floats, always.
so, it will be sans the twilight, sans the silvery waves, sans the queen's necklace n the light shower, sans the 'intoxication'.. but strangely enough, it WILL be with the homo sapien, with the homo sapien walking me down to my "home".. sometimes, even the imperfectionest ending is most perfectly imperfect. n so maybe, i was supposed to have my last goodbye with the homo sapien.
(well, this part of what im gonna write now is more associated with the "ending" of a "life", as in the conventional norms and the meanings of "life".. but nevertheless, the "metaphorical" affinity that i have, im extending it to what i would like to define.. *chuckle!*)
people say, "when you know you are at your final stages of your life, drawing the gasps of the last remaining airs as permitted by your lungs, you tend to see, or, have the flashes of the most beautiful and fond memories of your long/short life's worth. and more often than not, the real major part of those memory flashes belong to those specific individuals (often classified as "living beings") with whom, knowingly or unknowingly or deliberately "classified by yourself n your inner conscience" as unknowingly, you've had the most wonderful and lovely moments of your entire lifetime. and then, it doesnt really matter, how long or short, your association was with that "living being" in question."
this is the most simple of observations. n something that will never run into the danger of being refuted!
so, standing where i am right now, as i can percieve the "end", i have some very clear images that are forming a beautiful canvas in my mind (or heart?!). beautiful memories, 'love'ly feelings n probably the very bestest of rendezvous. and yes, the major part of the canvas is taken over by one living being, a "homo sapien" to be precise. and surprisingly, the time reference is the least time of associations..
call it a coincidence, the "ending" also coincides with the homo sapien in question here! though, in a different light.. ;)
just like a dying man's last wish, i too have a "wish" (and a hope) that culminates to a picture perfect frame, before me finally felling the curtains and the credits rolling to "THE END"..
the "wish(es)" may not be extravagant, but they definitely are exuberent in emotions n feelings. (well, i'm a girl, at the end of the day! and a 'crab'by one at that too!) so, my perfect scene unfolds thus:
the twilight falling, gradually making its way to the dusk..i can see the last fading rays of the setting sun..almost as if like, it doesnt want to go, but yet it has to..doesnt want to create the impression of a hopefull utopia..(hope, it says, is good.. but it is the best, to only live with the "hope" and never to promote it to higher credits..it is only "hope").. i watch the sun go down, with that warm glow till the end..i sit looking ahead.. i see the silvery waves now.. they want to reach up to me, but i keep that tantalising distance.. cuz, i know, any association might pull me back and make my arrivederci painful..and i dont want it that way.. and so i sit.. under the stars and the queen's necklace.. b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. and with the homo-sapien in question.. next to me..both of ours favourite spot, that..with arms around me and a light shower.. its as perfect as it can get.. moving over from there, as the "dusk" finally turns jet-black, heading for 'intoxication'..and a strange song starts plying in my mind,
"When shadows fall, I pass a small cafe,Where we would dance at night,And I can't help recalling how it Felt to kiss and hold you tight...."
n im reminded of the sweet kiss at midnight---that resembled both the initiation and the termination.. we leave from there, with me standing on the rocks "with arms wide open, under the (moon)light" taking in the last whiff of the place, wishing the memories would also go wihtin me with the air that i breathe in, as my parting shot.. you walk me down to my "home", n i realise that it is my last walk with you.. i dun want to let you go, but i know that i have to.. and i should. we both stand there.. have so many things to say, but unaware of how to do them..n all we end up with is wishing desperately that each of us understands what each wants the other to understand. the last goodbye. and the last kiss.. of love. of austerity. i'll take with me the kiss, n keep it in the "am besten" casket..safe and secure.. hidden from all......
it all seems so perfect.. perfect in the ending itself.. but sometimes, the imperfections are the bestest justifications of all the beautiful 'conspirations'.. and so, i intend to keep it at the imperfectionest best.. coz, that will carry the "hope" of my return for its "perfection".. and "hope" floats, always.
so, it will be sans the twilight, sans the silvery waves, sans the queen's necklace n the light shower, sans the 'intoxication'.. but strangely enough, it WILL be with the homo sapien, with the homo sapien walking me down to my "home".. sometimes, even the imperfectionest ending is most perfectly imperfect. n so maybe, i was supposed to have my last goodbye with the homo sapien.
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