"how can you still be in touch with him?....NO! you're not supposed to be that way."
"umm.., its possible to stay in touch with your ex, depending upon how you broke up."
two statements. two different persons. answering to the same one person. me. both elder to me, yet both colleagues. both having their drastically different and unique ways in life, yet, both coinciding in this specific aspect. though not 100 percent, but even then, in a silent undertone.
and so i wonder. im i the lucky one? or, im at fault.. failing miserably in something which i diligently preach to others..
considering the second opinion, i have quite a crowd to vote in their affirmatives.. all would be of the opinion that i've failed.. i dun practice what i always swear by, when it comes to saying others.. i'm still at that same place.. maybe even, waiting.. in denial.. in anticipation.. and all of them would then tell me to severe all ties and connections.. a strict ceasefire regarding the "connectivity".. restore "normalcy" in my life, by "eliminating" that aspect.. making it again a pseudo image of what it was previously..
and i dun think i'll like that.. coz the very thought of it it enough to drive shudders down my spine. *whine*
considering the first option, i'm the lucky one.. and it turns out, i only have me to support me in this..
but, i realise that there can be no other..like him, and also like this. for, come whatever may, he still remains my "once upon a time in sometime", where there were no promises made that weren't or couldn't be kept.. where there were no conditions and constraints.. where there were no explations and justifications..where there was just plain sweetness..courtsey..priceless moments..and many other such things, that just cant be defined..
so, i dunno, if its a sacrilege im committing by being in touch with him (ref to the first quote) or it justifies my action (ref to the second quote).. but whatever it may be, i cant change..i dunno, whether its still some sorta anticipation, hope, or even deceit.. i really dont know.. but what i also dont know is any other way of being with him.. i may still not talk everyday with him.. i may still not call him.. but i still cant even imagine my life without him either. even now.. even after three long years..
coz, its him. and he is still the same.. to me.
p.s.: regarding the second quote, on being asked, by yours trully, "are you still in touch?", the answer was "No."
"umm.., its possible to stay in touch with your ex, depending upon how you broke up."
two statements. two different persons. answering to the same one person. me. both elder to me, yet both colleagues. both having their drastically different and unique ways in life, yet, both coinciding in this specific aspect. though not 100 percent, but even then, in a silent undertone.
and so i wonder. im i the lucky one? or, im at fault.. failing miserably in something which i diligently preach to others..
considering the second opinion, i have quite a crowd to vote in their affirmatives.. all would be of the opinion that i've failed.. i dun practice what i always swear by, when it comes to saying others.. i'm still at that same place.. maybe even, waiting.. in denial.. in anticipation.. and all of them would then tell me to severe all ties and connections.. a strict ceasefire regarding the "connectivity".. restore "normalcy" in my life, by "eliminating" that aspect.. making it again a pseudo image of what it was previously..
and i dun think i'll like that.. coz the very thought of it it enough to drive shudders down my spine. *whine*
considering the first option, i'm the lucky one.. and it turns out, i only have me to support me in this..
but, i realise that there can be no other..like him, and also like this. for, come whatever may, he still remains my "once upon a time in sometime", where there were no promises made that weren't or couldn't be kept.. where there were no conditions and constraints.. where there were no explations and justifications..where there was just plain sweetness..courtsey..priceless moments..and many other such things, that just cant be defined..
so, i dunno, if its a sacrilege im committing by being in touch with him (ref to the first quote) or it justifies my action (ref to the second quote).. but whatever it may be, i cant change..i dunno, whether its still some sorta anticipation, hope, or even deceit.. i really dont know.. but what i also dont know is any other way of being with him.. i may still not talk everyday with him.. i may still not call him.. but i still cant even imagine my life without him either. even now.. even after three long years..
coz, its him. and he is still the same.. to me.
p.s.: regarding the second quote, on being asked, by yours trully, "are you still in touch?", the answer was "No."
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