the 'wrong' one--ooops!---"t.h.r.e.e." :)

" we are all seeking that special person who is right for us..but if you have been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect, there is no right person, just different flavours of wrong.. why is this? because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way.. but it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness.. and it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems--the ones that make you truly who you are--that we are ready to find a lifelong mate.. only then do you finally know what you are looking for.. you are looking for the wrong person.. but not just any wrong person--someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "this is the problem i want to have.."

i will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way

let our scars fall in love.."
--Galway Kinnell

i might have found that perfectly wrong person for me in the right way.. or may be not..  but thinking of the former, and going by the fact that i managed to hold out the "three", its a proud moment for me today..

after all, we did manage to stick on for so long..

for,
a solid One,--- when we started, being at "anywhere", searching for "my immortal".. when we told each other to have a little "patience" and that it will all fall through.. and when we met, i'd hoped that you had the "time of your life"..

a doubtful Two,--- when you moved away, it was like a "carnival of rust".. n i felt "dumb".. when we met again, i raised the "white flag".. and when we fell apart, my heart was "rolling in the deep".. coz, "you're still the one"..

a steadily gaining back grounds Three--- getting back, rewinding and reliving.. confessions of the "stupid mistake" and long-awaited moments crowned with the "kiss goodnight" and subsequently establishing "i'm yours"..

for all those countless squabbles, quarrels, fights and silences

moon gazings, soft whisperings

endless talkings over sweet nothings

for those long drives sans destinations

with the tag of 'L' and a few more

the never ending 'aapdaar' 

the special reference to that 'one' song 

and the singing along to it

even making it as the 'official' too

for those nights of complete crass

and the amazingly accustomed and intertwined lives

complementing

sustaining

still living..

quite a journey this!

three candles lit.. and three candles blown..

*ok happy budday*

i dunno what holds for tomorrow.. i dunno where we will be a day later.. but 'today' is all that matters to me.. coz, its only with those each precious single days, that we reached here..today..

impromptu ride

alright.. yes.. this is downright crazy.. out and out.. and no second thoughts about it too.. devoid of any qualms.. a road junkie to a certain extent.. 'coz i dunno any other way to put it in.. one way would be, yes, a certain benefit-reaping action of staying (home)alone.. but other than this, the 'road-junkie' fits the bill perfectly..

simply an impromptu and an on-impulse drive.. 200-odd kms.. to-and-fro..
to the city of my Best Man and back.. oh the roads were awesome.. and i realised, i can never fall out of love with them.. pure bliss..

p.s. of course, and it goes without saying.. black love is awesome! :)

call it weird

call it weird.. all this time i was away from (what i thought to be)my 'heart', i could feel it beating.. it was beating in that dull rhythmic beats.. beating in anticipation of something.. anticipating the wait that would be realised in the future.. it was beating.. in that constant dull drill of rhythm..

call it weird.. all this time i was away from (what i thought to be)my 'heart', i could feel it pulling me to it.. i could feel the pinch of being away from it for so long.. i could feel the desperation of the longing, seeping within me..

call it weird.. now that i'm back to (where i thought)my 'heart' is, i feel this eerie sense of discord.. and i don't feel it beating anymore.. there's no excitement for the waiting of the anticipation.. no enchantment of the reunion with the 'heart'.. so sense of joys nor any feel of reassurance.. in fact, i get the feel that i don't belong here..

call it weird.. the soul weeps.. and the tug gets profound.

('heart' doesnt suit me)

2013 (supposedly)

this one beckons me--
"This year the best possible way of handling things would be to try and find the middle path, so as to reach a logical conclusion. Here-on, in all likelihood, your life may take any direction, possibly an altogether new one. Besides, you may now become acutely aware of your hidden powers and talents, and your desire for freedom and independence may take flight too. Don't act on impulse, though, especially regarding matters related to your love life, advises Ganesha. Although there are great chances of your love relationship culminating in marriage now, you need to ensure that you don't forge life-long bonds in haste. Also, avoid overindulging in food or drink. Your health, barring some seasonal ailments, will be pretty okay, though. On the career and financial front, you may experience average to below average progress during the first two quarters. However, things may definitely start looking up later in the year, and towards the end of the year, you will feel quite satisfied."

this one beckons 16.1.--
"Simply put – it looks set to be a favourable year for you. Of course, there will be some twists and turns, but none of them severely damaging or depressing. The domestic environment shall remain peaceful, and you may get sufficient time, energy and resources to forge ahead. In 2013, Ganesha foresees you getting closer to someone on an emotional level. If married or in a committed relationship, you may look forward to indulging in amazingly romantic moments. However, taking the good times for granted may break the charm. Try your best to resolve issues related to your love life amicably. Your career too may go through a plenty of positive developments this year. You may, however, still not feel very satisfied with your professional situation. Financially, things will be sound, but ensure that each penny you earn is pushed logically and calculatedly into the circle of spendings, savings and investing. Watch your health, though."

silent love

the silent love is heard by all.. even by those who ain't involved.

and she tells me that you love me very much.. unconditionally.. and that i'm lucky..

and i tell her that i know that.. i tell her that i love you too.. i tell her that you are always special.. i tell her that i can't think of doing without you..

she tells me that you are a very very very nice person, to have done what you did..and she cannot ever be thankful enough..

she tells me again, that you really love me..

you have been m.i.a. ever since.. i missed you.. i miss you.. just have the warm comforts of the brown stripes.. and i realised, it must be really that special, so much so to be so clearly evident to a third person (outsider) to come to me and tell this, who wasn't even aware of the existence of the beings involved, until that moment..

silent love it is..

unconditional..

forever..

10!

10 is a good number.. a special number.. it even has a name for its own--'decade'..
so, it is, in all sense and effect, a very special phenomenon.. 10..

i have the 10.. we have the 10.. together.. and the best part, neither of us planned the 10.. nor planned for the 10.. but both of us did plan--elaborately--the after-10! and yes, that had all the charm and everything nice :)

* a smoky-affair-----check!
* walk down the memory lane-----check!
* meeting at the same 'us' spot of 10 years back-----check!
* a soul felt heart-to-heart-----check!
* 'us' time-----check!
* travelling along the length of the city-----check!
* first day movie-----check!
* same tshirts-----check!

and the best of all, taking me to my Haven.. *love you,forever!* and everything else is forgiven on its face.. because, thats how special it is for me.. and thats how special you made it..

and not to forget, we have a 40's deal too ;)

xoxo