the beginning of the End--and a new Beginning

so i finally live to live the last day of 2012!

and the status follows thus:

• i'm a couple of kilos lighter..
• i'm a couple of inches narrower..
• the eyes have sunk a couple milimeters deeper within..
• the dark had become darker by a couple notches..
• the hair is long (of course!) and oilier than what it was the beginning of the week..

and all this in the last 6 days.. to say, that my year ending has been eventful, would be to say the very least!

end of the never-ending egg-jams (finally, and at long last), the first conversation to follow immediately after submission of the paper with 16.1, detailed sweet nothings, a long drive all by myself on the awesome highway (the one good thing that makes me proud of Narendra Modi) and with the prospective plans of a new year meet with 16.1 in the making..

sure, my ultimate day of the year cant get any better..

an the start of the coming year, is gonna be the bestest one in many years to follow..

ushering in the new year in the city i love.. Bombay..

ushering the new year with the person i love (absolutely)..

living in the new year with the favourite person in the favourite place!

NO, it just can't get any better than this!

so, looking forward to all the celebrations--birthday, celebrating a decade, new year, girls-time-out, catching up with old friends and exploring the soul city and drinking in the air.. and even before all of this, starting the year with spending that little time in the day, packed with a zillion precious moments, with the special one.. *love*

yes..

so, wishing everyone a very safe, merry and brightly lit new year!
stay happy always:)

cheers!

for you--always and forever!

we started out as the skinny 15 year olds.. stark opposites of each other..

opposites in every aspect.. i was the 'darker' one and you were the 'white'.. hell yeah! literally.. i mean it.. i was the kiddish and you were the mature one..  lecturing me more often than not on how to  be and behave, what to say and what not to! explaining me the meanings of most of the stuffs.. if i was the wild one you were always getting my back.. i was the tom-boy and you were that petite dainty girl.. and yesh, you actually drilled those girly stuffs in me..

and in spite of all these opposites, we were strangely complementing to each other--to the extent that one seemed incomplete without the other..

we sat together--(and i'm so grateful to that class teacher of ours for that fated day)--in class and also everywhere else where we went.. you gave me my first Chicken Soup.. and i still love you loads for that.. i had my first gossip of 'crushes' and 'giggles' with you (remember that Iranian fellow?)..

girl! you are the bestest thing that happened to me at 15!

and look at us now! from dressing almost alike on birthdays (remember my 21st?) to the day when you are this grown up lady, getting married.. i'd always dreamt of living to this day, being there with you, making you proud by actually living it out and acting it out like a 'complete lady'.. always wanted that perfect "lady-like" picture of both of us together---the Bride and her best friend!

and you know when i say this-- how i'd have loved to be there and take it the moments in my shots and frame it for life--i mean it and i say the truth.. and so i'm really kicking myself hard, as i'm nowhere near to doing any of that..and i'm so sorry, 'coz i'm really missing being their with you..

so, girl.. make the most of it.. big day for you.. and a new chapter of a new story..

get married, girl..
i'll catch you up there too in sometime *wink*!

but till then, you know, we are still gonna be the same..

love you loads!

**Best Friends Forever**

to the ONE whom it concerns(SIC)

it has been a really shocking unfolding of events.. its disgusting to even acknowledge what has happened.. disgusting because, i, also do belong to that same cattle breed of people..
because, i let myself being ruled by them..
because, i too have played my part in making them sit at the top and have a 'look'..

because, it says on my passport, i am a citizen of INDIA..

and yes, i am ashamed of being one..
ashamed of the place that i come from..
ashamed of the people that i vouch for..
ashamed of even existing..

and yes, thats just me saying aloud my disgust.. but what disgusts me more is the coveted 'sarcasm' on its face, even now.. "
"yeah right.. as if your black dot DPs are gonna change everything"
*#quote-unquote*

couple of days back, out of sheer respect and awe and just a tiny bit of support for that unfortunate individual, many people(including myself) chose to put the black dot,as the DP.. yes, i know it wont help in achieving anything.. it will not ouster the ruling govt.. it will not bring back the life of that individual.. it will not make things alright for anyone.. it will not punish the accused.. it will not undo any of the wrongs.. it will do nothing but to show support.. it will do absolutely nothing, BUT for letting the word spread that we all are deeply shaken and repulsed by the thriving 'rules' of the 'ruling class'.. and at the most, in a very far fetched manner, it will just act as a mere virtual support for that unfortunate individual..

yes, true that.. the black dot DPs ain't gonna change anything for that matter.. the same way, holding a 2 minute silence for a departed soul doesn't change anything..

its perfectly alright for YOU to not believe in something.. absolutely acceptable for YOU to not to share the feelings of a zillion other..
BUT, it doesn't give YOU the right to condemn other people's belief.. and YOU happen to be no one to judge on that!

yes, i expected better from YOU..
and YOU disappoint me..
YOUR words are deeply sickening..
and that will be to say the least..
period.

'after'-ever-'after'

i'm excited for the countdown.. not for what its leading to.. but for whats it holds "after"..
its the "after" that entices me..

'coz, the "after" has the charm..
the "after" is where it all starts..
the "after" is what i look forward to..
the "after" is what defines..

'coz its always been the "after".. the place which holds the coveted treasure.. where i've always felt the safest.. where i've always been at home..

"after".. ever "after".. happily ever "after"!

*love*

4-4-8

'4-4-8'!!
and the world at my feet!

ahan ahan!!!!

perseverance pays.. and handsomely that too!!! bestest reward and i can stand tall and even "walk" in these!

hee-haw!!!!

and yeah! the jinx broken too..
*ecstatic!*

time for the 'end'

she discussed it.. she said it aloud.. she got her favourite audience to bear as the witness..
and she was grateful..more than she could ever tell..

and so maybe after months of agonized dilemma,  countless hours engaged in the "yes", "no" and all the "maybe", after the final(erstwhile) decision of doing it followed by deciding for the otherwise, well, she might just have gotten a lil bit strong.. strong enough to move forward in the direction she'd once abandoned..

its still an uphill task for her.. a difficult embarkment.. and she knows she will never have it easy either..

but she also knows, she will always have that one 'unassuming' and 'forever-there-for-her' being.. one who, she can trust when she can trust her own self no more..


p.s. she might decide for it.. coz, she'd got her 'final night'.. she'd got her 'last meet'.. and so now, she knows, its time.. she'll be hurting anyway.. just a lil hope that she will be able to live with the hurting..

vicious circle

vicious circle..
the bug, dealing with its intimacy issues, reaffirms its attachment..
followed by a week of coughing, sneezing, wheezing..
duly transmission to the kid..
intimacy with kid continues unabashedly..
kid gets the bug..
followed by the kid coughing, sniffing and sneezing..
bug finding its way back towards the 'home'..
followed by reattachment..
followed by another spell of a week's worth coughing, sneezing, wheezing..

and it continues..


p.s. and such is the state that 'vicious' almost became 'viscous' and 'state' almost became 'sate'.. 

what sucks?

(slander)
yeah.. this no literary fest.. this case is pure slander.. and 'sucks' is by far the most polite term that i could find..
December.. this being the most awesome time of the entire year..
and you wanna know what sucks?
stupid eggjams! *aarrrghhhhhh!* stupid finals and stupid Boards.. and no, that is not the 'end all , be all" of the matter.. the timings take the icing of the cake here! the last week, which is by default the Celebration week of the whole year, boasts  of my stupid finals and stupid Boards of this stupid eggjam! *huff!* a little more garnish on the icing, would be the fact that this even includes the Sunday! *sigh!*  silver lining, you ask? well yeah.. fortunately and thankfully (as i cant be thankful enough), it all gets over on the 31st.. so, i at least have the last day to squeeze in all the plans for the what would have been an otherwise exciting and happening week..

what else sucks?
falling sick.. before the stupid eggjams.. which effectively ruins all the back-up plans of celebrations.. because it eats into those back-up time reserved for celebrations.. and so, here i am, taken ill, with my beloved bug, who, it seems to me, suffers from severe intimacy issues and so when it aggravates, that's how the repercussions come out to the surface.. result---->'sick'..period.

what else sucks?
the most torturous negotiation in the entire world, is when you end up bargaining for a neutral 'time-compatible' zone with your sweetheart.. *damned eggjams!* and being sick doesn't help the case at all..(haven't seen my stupid 16.1's face for so long now..*heart-broken* makes the wait for 31st all the more excruciating) and no, 'chatting' and 'talking' doesn't really help in this case.. and the pictures make it worse..

what else sucks?
of course, when you cant get your balance sheets to tally.. when the cash flow statements do not match, of course, cash flow, in itself, sucks.. when you realise that just 10 days till the stupid eggjams, the stupid Boards, the stupid finals, and you panic..

yeah.. sucks real bad.

and as very rightly put across by my 16.1., "so does a lot of things.."

(sans) the vows!

we never had any vows.. never had any intentions for that either.. at anytime.. but. somehow or other, it so appears, off-handedly, we just might be living them aloud.. and that too, purely unintentionally.. :-p something like, how that cliched phrase goes--"it was destined.." *hark hark!*

and this gets a coveted mention here now because this ain't the first time.. this just happens to be an encore! *wink!*

well, to end with all this stupid build-up of weird pile-ups of all the guesses by now, this involves a co-ordination.. like that of being in sync.. *wink! grin!* and the first instance was that of a common one.. a planned one.. though, to be more precise, it was rather an imposed upon sorts on the person concerned by yours truly.. (yes, i am good at that!)and that was a success too! and that involved a 'meet' during a certain period of what happened to be an extended weekend (three years ago).. involving our 'visit' to our 'home'..

that was the health part.

present day.. the encore is not exactly of the 'situation', per se.. but its actually more of the underlying phenomenon..'co-ordination' indeed.. and if the earlier aforementioned incident was planned, this one was completely unplanned.. and unaccounted for, from either side..(you dont really plan to fall sick on a specific day for a specific period of time..)and which further involved the dishing out of the same suggestions to the other for implementation! *rofl!*

add to that, perfect timings.. and even the other contributing external 'environmental' factors too remaining the same!(ref: certain underlying schedules)

and that concludes the illness part.

...in sickness and health..! 
and so truly said..
fosho..
period.

p.s and all this time i was giggling like a besotted lil girl :-p
p.p.s and later in the night, co-ordinated even in the accounts!
*that's what forced exile does..sadly*

the 'after'

"..no.. its not just the ***.. its never the ***.. its the after.. i feel so safe there.. and maybe, that's why i cant stop seeing him.. i cant stay away.."

because, its always the 'after'.

♥♥"i.n.v.i.t.a.t.i.o.n." ♥♥

this goes out specifically to a certain You.. a specific certain You, who will always have this one trivial thing to make a huge thing of.. a very specific certain You, who never fails to bring this up everytime..
yep.. "i.n.v.i.t.a.t.i.o.n." indeed.. and well, its never that, the very specific certain You never happened to be on the receiving end of it, it has always been denied vehemently with--"aisa wala nahi.. dusra wala"--and the signature 'tongue-dangling-out-at-the-corner-of-the-mouth' complete with a very pink tongue!

so, here goes, the very specific certain You.. this one is for You!

*oh red wine!*

i know you got your own ways

i know you got your own life

i'm just saying c'mon down to my place :)

we ain't got no worries here

you ain't  gonna wanna leave ;)

driving down to boulevard

comin' out inside my car (*black love*)

no sittin' in the backyard

lets go for a ride

come on and ride with me :)

we got some sights to see ;)

baby just come with me

come on lets go lets hit the road

turn up the radio lets radio (*aa ante amnapuro* :p)

we do it all night long :p

we got everything You and me

music plays all night long

we got no worries here

you ain't gonna wanna leave

c'mon

let the music play

dance tonight away

so, now i dare You.. the very specific certain You.. dare You to say that i dint, as You always say,  'invite' You! 'coz, i bet my a** off, even You cant get any more vocal and illustrated than this (above) :p :)

so now that You got the 'i.n.v.i.t.a.t.i.o.n.', lets see, how You do it.. :)

♥♥-xoxo!

disclaimer:

its completely inspired (as far as the words).. the addendum have been completely original though.. and nothing to do with the original source of the excerpted verse..(and with no intention whatsoever of hurting anyone's emotions..) taken from a current chart-buster :)