letters to you

cant you see that i wanna be
there with open arms
its empty tonight and i'm all alone
get me through this one
do you notice i'm gone?
where do you run to, so far away?

i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so

i'm writing again
these letters to you aren't much i know
but i'm not sleeping and you are not here
the thought stops my heart
do you notice i'm gone?
where do you run to, so far away?

i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so

i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so

no more looking
i've found home

i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you,  i miss you so

i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you, i miss you so

i'm gone away
i'm gone away

feel

she was sad and forlorn
sitting alone in a world of her own
surrounded by all and sundry
amidst the brouhaha and all the chattering.
yet it seemed desolate to her
'coz, maybe, it was only she, who was in there.
she never realised the Hows and the Whats and even the Whens
of the things when they went wrong
because to her it always seemed
that her entire life was all but just a song.
a song she could sing and hum
even when everything around her would be in  doldrums.
but something was amiss today
when she found herself sitting in the desolate land.
her search for the lost song not-with-standing
the harder she tried, she found it to be more elusive.
she used to think that she knows the song by-heart
it was her song, after all.
a simple, yet endearing, might even be seemingly elusive to all.
but it was her song. and she sang her song.
she lived her song. and the song lived in her.
but the song was to be found nowhere
and her desolate world was all but, glaringly bare.

sweet meet, part-2 :)

Quote-Unquote Jack::
"tumhe thand islie lag rahi hai kyuki your back is uncovered..."
:-P:-P*ROFL* :-D
and finger tricks gave way to search-for-the-(somewhere-lurking-among-all-the-blacks)-white-hair! ;)

but to sum it all, it was "lovely".. it was agonisingly short, n i tried my hardest to hide all my emotions n feelings (i avoided making eye contact!) when he said, "thodi der aur ruk jao.. paas me hi toh hai.. abhi nai jana..thodi der baad...." (my sheer inability to put facial expressions here)..the score reads 2 times in 2 weeks..which, on the hindsight, looks pretty decent :)
n when i say, that the better part of th short n small stay duration was taken up by me laughing and him trying hard not to laugh n trying hardest to make me stop laughing n failing miserably in that, maybe will never speak, even a miniscule detail of the moment that was shared amidst that laughing hysteria..
yeah.. somethings can trully be priceless!

"i have seen castles made out of sand,
met people who believe destiny is engraved on the palm of their hands,
i have seen people change their faith,
experience love change into hate,
i have seen people grow younger with age,
...and a bird who wouldn't fly out of an open cage,
i have seen love sold for money,
people who are devastated inside but outside they are funny,
i have seen the unicorn fall in love with the toad,
people who owned half the city now hit the road,
i have learnt to expect the unexpected,
perfection doesnt exist, we're all flawed,
everyone cries, some just hide their tears..
they say coal turns into diamond over a thousand years,
someone may believe you are one in a million,
for others you are just another nobody in the billion..
so live life with all that you have,
cherish all yor moments..
happy or sad!! feel blessed with what you are!!
life is too short and we are here for a moment!!"
:)

Who?..How?..When?..What?..??(!)

the four omnipresent eternal questions.. and one really wierd thing abt them is that, at one (or rather "some") instance(s), you have all the answers (possibly n also possible) to them (each and individually) and on some (real annoying) other instances, you are always renderred wanting for the very same.. you can try every possible way to maneouver the answers to fit in snuggly in the voids created by these afore-mentioned.. but to no avail.. you do get the feel that the answers are there.. lurking somewhere.. just outta reach.. n the more you reach out further to them, the more they seem to squeeze away from the radius of your grip.. really really wierd.. dont you think so?
"the answers are just there.. inside.. you just have to look for them.."
*BLAH!!*

well, so let this just be one trail of attempting for the "answers"..n it might even go haywire! *chuckle*

"WHO?"
hmmmm.. "who" indeeed are you? an (un)known face.. yeah.. that is who you are.. to me.. sometimes i know who exactly are you.. n the very other sometimes, it turns back at me, questioning me back, do i really? on this "WHO" aspect alone, i think i can even construct a "then n now" chart.. but then again, i'm sure, i probably just wont proceed after the first line itself..
(honestly.. do I really know who YOU are? WHO is it that i'm decieving? or WHO is it that I'm confronting?)

"HOW!"
now that is a real bummer..coz, i think, even i dint realise it happening.."how" indeed? was it the way it started? or was it the way "WE" started? was it in our conversations? or was it in that one promise, which we both gave, unquestioningly..I to YOU n YOU to I.. not realising then "how" deep it can really affect n to what effect.. but then again, "how" does it even matter? or.. does it? really matter???(?)

"WHEN!"
time, its said, never stops.. but what is not said n mentioned anywhere is the fact, that time doesnt even give an intimation of its arrival, per se.. n so, if missed the "time" you will forever go on searching for the "when".. or unless you are extremely lucky, you might be one of those fortunate ones, to whom the answers themselves come gift-wrapped..

"WHAT!"
and so lastly, we arrive at the "what" of the things.. of all things, in fact.. n the very basic reason that you are still persisting with this bull-shit crap and waiting with baited breath as to "what" disclosures that is awaiting.. well, then sorry to disappoint.. but i'd rather pay attention to the one tiny detail, that this "what" comes with an exclamatory sign rather that a "question".. :-P

and so, there goes another attempt of mine searsching for answers down the drain.. gosh!!! i suck at these! terribly, i tell you!

n so, more often than not, im only left with these words......
"If only YOU knew.....*sigh!*"

 ♥
yes.. if only YOU knew.......
 ♥
Happy Valentine's Day! 
 ♥

bubblle

.......bubble bursting.. or its more like, already bursted.. pooof!.. :( n its impact(?), well, im still not able to register it really.. but just a thought, why is it that everytime i feel myself settling into a 'habit', im forced outta it?
yes, i do love him..n now, getting to know of someone else's involvement with him, hurts... beyond measure..such an extent that i just cant feel anything now..
"n meko toh laga tha k there's no secret between us"--n this was first said by him.. to me.. n to know that this very statement has been floundered by him only..
im at a loss of any possible reactions.. maybe tears will come to me.. at some point of time.. n once, just for this once, i really want those tears to come real soon..
coz, i just realised, he probably doesnt even deserve my thoughts to linger on him for any longer..n yes, i have it in me to move on, even when wounded..

n at this moment, i could understand the true meaning of the song-- "....n who can say, why your heart sighs, when your love flies, only time..n who can say, why your heart cries, when your love dies, only time....."
so, maybe, time it is for me..but for now, it might just as well be the tears..
n maybe, you'll never know, that how much i loved you.